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Daddy? The key won’t turn tightly. I tried and tried, but I can’t get the skates on tight enough. I’m afraid to stand up. My ankles feel funny. I mean it, Daddy, I can’t do it. I can’t just roller skate down this old sidewalk like you tell me to. Can’t you help me?
Okay, well, I’m gonna try on my own. Here I go. See, I told you I couldn’t. Don’t go inside and leave me out here. I’m sorry. Hey, maybe it wasn’t me; maybe it was the sidewalk. Look at all these cracks, anyone would fall down, Daaaady, I’m sorry, I’m sorry ...
Dad? I know you’re upset. I really tried hard. I did the best I could. But look ... I got A’s and B’s in everything else. No Please don’t make me stay in all weekend. It’s Senior weekend We were all going to the beach, it’s been planned for months. I’m sorry. I’ll try harder with my school work, I promise. Dad, don’t walk away ... Dad ....
I can’t walk down that aisle. My knees will buckle. Maybe I didn’t make the right decision. What if I really don’t love him? I’m too young to get married. The organ is starting. Daddy, hold my arm, I’m so scared. Here we go, here we go ... Daddy, are you proud of me now?
Joan placed her palms against her ears. Make it stop. The memories spun in her mind over and over again. She slid out from under the flowered comforter and let it fall to the hardwood floor beside the bed. Standing in front of the mirror, she examined herself, swiped at the corners of her eyes and began to brush out her matted hair. She licked the moisture off her upper lip and tried to rid herself of a bad night’s sleep and the old disturbing dreams by punishing the damp tendrils with her brush. She remembered the tears of regret at her Dad’s funeral. She’d loved him dearly, but had always been uncertain of his love for her. She had stood by the casket with Ed and woodenly greeted relatives. At least Daddy had not been around to witness her marriage dissolve. Ed had found someone who could please him better than she had. It had seemed nothing was never enough, just like with her Dad. Sighing, she wondered if there would come a time when she stopped doubting herself. I just want to accomplish something good in my life.
“Mommy, get up. I’ve got a surprise for you ”
Joan’s heart hugged her whole body as six year old Haley pushed the door open with her backside and walked through carrying a tray. Oh, how she can change my mood in an instant.
“ Ta-da! I made you breakfast, Mommy.” Haley announced her surprise feat with pomp and just the right amount of circumstance. “Oh, but I couldn’t spread the peanut butter on very good. It’s all gloppy and it tore holes in the bread. Sorry.”
“Get over here, my fairy princess. I need to get you all gloppy with kisses. Listen, my little daughter, You tried your very best and everything doesn’t always have to come out perfect, does it? What is perfect is the love you showed me and I’m so proud of you.”
“I know, mommy, you’re always proud of me. Tomorrow I’m gonna make another breakfast for you, even more gooder than this one. And I bet I learn how to spread peanut butter better when I get seven.”
“I know you will, Haley. We’ve got to get you off to school and I’ve got lots of things to do today, so ...”
“I know, Mommy, I know ... we need to ask God to help us first, don’t we?”
The warm comforter felt assuring as she wrapped it around their shoulders. Four knees touched the hardwood floor as they knelt to say their morning prayers.
Later, Joan watched her daughter skip happily from the car to her friends in the schoolyard. Haley’s golden braids were flying as she twirled and laughed with a certainty and a panache Joan knew she never had at that age. What joy!
“Guess what I did, guys I made my mom breakfast. And you know what? Gloppy is okay.
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