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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Confident (07/05/07)

TITLE: Christian Genetics
By Ed VanDeMark


Christian Genetics

Eve my friend you might consider keeping better company.

Adam you really need to change your eating habits.

David, David what are you doing standing in that window?

Brother Paul, why donít you just drop that stone and walk away?

Peter, oh Peter you messed up again. When are you ever going to learn?

Temper, temper Moses. I would have thought 40 years in the desert wouldíve taught you something the first time.

Thank God you donít own a Corvette Saul. You get in enough trouble with that spear.

Mary Magdalene I think thereíre better career choices.

Abraham please note: little white lies cause warts to grow on your nose.

Sarah old girl that green monster jealousy doesnít match those regal purple ear rings.

Noah old pal itís a long standing fact that a nip from the vine will bite you back.
Jacob we put people in jail for less than that.

Rahab may I suggest you start looking for a nice Jewish boy?

Aaron I hope you decide to turn that golden calf back into jewelry.
Solomon I think a little male bonding might do you some good.
Thomas Iím astounded at just how blind you are some days.

Running away and pouting donít exactly win you any points Jonah.

A word of advice Sampson, girls are a gateway drug that lead to drinking and drugs.

Thatís a nice coat Joseph but I might suggest you keep it under wraps for a while.

Judah must I remind you sheís your daughter-in-law?

John if you keep reminding us youíre loved, we might get the idea youíre a prima donna.

Martha the roast lamb was great but I missed you in Sunday school again this morning.

Mathew I wouldnít exactly call your success in government a sterling example of public service.

Donít join the Army little John Mark. The Army calls quitting desertion.

Zechariah if you canít say something nice, donít say anything at all.

With God as my creator, Jesus as my savior, the Holy Spirit as my sustainer and such a great cloud of witnesses, why wouldnít I be confident?


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This article has been read 586 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Dee Yoder 07/13/07
Got your point! And still, He used them to further His kingdom! God never required perfection, just simple obedience. (And He even works around disobedience, sometimes!)
Lynda Schultz 07/14/07
I enjoyed this very much. It could use a little more punctuation, but the message came through loud and clear. Good job.
Jan Ackerson 07/15/07
I loved this in many ways; some of your advice went straight to the heart!

I wasn't sure how the title applied, and I think this would be even more effective if put in chronological order. And the topic for this week seemed almost an afterthought.

BUT...this is definitely one of the cleverer pieces I've seen on this site. Very creative, and full of great lines with a lot of kick.
Beth LaBuff 07/15/07
You definitely know your Bible. These were fun to read through and to get the message from each one. (I actually have "The Idiot's Guide to the Bible"--I know, shocking isn't it :) --, and they use a lot of these as chapter titles. Very witty and clever.
Joanne Sher 07/16/07
Clever idea, and much to ponder. Love the voice.
Mariane Holbrook 07/17/07
This has got to be my favorite, no kidding, and I don't care if it ties into "confident" or not. I laughed out loud at several and paused to consider the seriousness of many more. What a great voice! And it's so clever and original that I'm fighting being jealous of you.

Very, very good job! I hope you win!
terri tiffany07/17/07
Of course I love this! To know so much about the people in the Bible amazes me! Very creative:)
Seema Bagai 07/17/07
Interesting piece. Enjoyed the voice and the way the fact were presented.

Not sure I understand the title, though.
Kristen Hester07/18/07
I want to print this out and keep it in my Bible. I also thought it would be nice to be in chronological order.