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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Confident (07/05/07)

TITLE: More Than I Have
By Sara Harricharan


Models are confident. They are wispy-thin with perfectly dyed hair, fake fingernails and a figure Barbie would kill for. Literally.

Yet we can waltz out onto stages in front of billions of people in a swimsuit to answer questions about world peace.

Or not.

There are days I wish I was behind the camera instead of in front of it. This may be one of them.

I don’t dye my hair because it’s my pet peeve. Right now it looks like an Olympic frizz fest.

I’m a model, we’re allowed to be finicky. I mean, who cares anyway? We can throw temper tantrums, fit into size zero anything and rip each other apart over a thirty-second slot.

We also donate half of our profits to the charity of our choice, sponsor starving kids overseas and every week we pick a personal Miss Congeniality.

Am I fake? I don’t know anymore. I keep breaking the miniaturized surfboards on my fingertips if that’s any indication.

I’ve also managed to land the most coveted spot on the cover of Vogue this month. I so want to laugh. It’s a joke at most.

At one-hundred pounds, you’d think I’d be happy. I’m five feet and two inches. I can’t lift anything over fifty-pounds. But don’t tell the girls that. They have trouble lifting their double-decaf, vanilla lattes to surgically enhanced lips.

Cynical? I can’t help it. It’s a model scratch model world out there. We love catfights. We hate our agents.

“Malina!” Gertie’s too-cheerful voice accompanies her Popsicle head, interrupting my deliciously hateful thoughts on the twisted world of modeling.

“Darling, there you are!” She gushes, sweeping down from the doorway to pat my head with fluttering fingers. “They want you on camera in fifteen minutes. I’m sending Laureen with that gorgeous sundress Monica made for you last week. Pedro should be bringing footwear to match, if he doesn’t make it on time, remind me to fire him. You just can’t be late for life!”

Gertie smiles at my dark reflection in the mirror. I don’t have to wait long for her to notice.

“Malina! Oh my word! Malina!” Her hand has gone to her mouth and she is now speaking through manicured fingers between gasps of disbelief. “That hole on your neck!”

I lower cranberry-tinted eyelids to glare in her direction. “What hole? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

It couldn’t possibly be the scar from my cancer surgery, could it?

Gertie swallows hard, the veins in her neck are straining as her hand drops to her side. She is scrambling to avoid saying something she shouldn’t.

My fingers caress a darkened depression on the left side of my neck. I pick up the powder puff and begin patting. I know it will fade into a memory once my makeup team arrives.

On cue, Sherona bursts through the door, the girls in tow. “Out, no agents allowed during the transformation!” She waves her hands at Gertie as her assistants escort her out.

I try my best not to smile at Gertie’s enraged reflection. “Hold your mouth still, girl!” Sherona barks.

I smooth my face like a canvas.

Magical fingers go to work, smoothing, painting, polishing.

When they are finished. I will be perfect.

Perfect on the outside, heavy inside.

Fighting for your life in a hospital where you’re nothing but a number can send a girl looking for hope in too many places.

I found one place. One peace and acceptance. I know what I need to do, but it doesn’t make it easy.

Dear Lord, I’m sorry for pushing you out of my life. Thanks for saving it anyway…and giving me this chance. I wince inwardly, praying words that take more. Forgive me?Lousy attitude and all?

I feel His presence settle over me like a golden, gossamer veil with the side effect of goosebumps.

“All done…whoa girl!” Sherona steps back. “Your happy glow. It’s back.”

Staring at me is the face of model Malina Nanton.

Walking onto the stage for the next photo shoot is the real Malina.

It’s not just confidence that pulls you out of a slump and shoves you on your feet.

No, that’s God-confidence.

It picks you up, smothers you in love and tells you to go get ‘em girl!

Copyright 2007

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This article has been read 1358 times
Member Comments
Member Date
terri tiffany07/12/07
I liked this! Nice, fast pace with just enough breaks...good takeaway and good show of emotions. Nice work!
Julie Arduini07/12/07
I absolutely love the line about the gossamer veil with the side effects of goosebumps. I think you gave a great glimpse of that "glamorous" life. Great work!
Teri Wilson07/12/07
What a wonderful entry - great idea having a fashion model for the MC. I love the opening and the line - "perfect on the outside, heavy on the inside." Fabulous job! Blessings, Teri
Benjamin Graber07/13/07
I love that ending. Great job on creativity as well!
Dee Yoder 07/13/07
The "Am I fake?" paragraph is too funny! This is unusual and humorous with a great ending.
Sharlyn Guthrie07/13/07
I had no idea where this was going, but you kept baiting me with all the humorous, cycnical remarks. I'm certain that this would speak to many young women. It is well-written, fast paced, and fresh.
Jan Ackerson 07/14/07
Wonderful voice! So fresh and unique, as is your approach to this topic. Super!

The only thing that I questioned was a supermodel at 5' 2", which is very short for a model. Most are closer to 5' 10" or so.

This is one of my favorites so far--really well done.

Joanne Sher 07/14/07
The voice of this is PERFECT. This is just wonderful in every way. What truth - and with such a punch. Excellent.
Patty Wysong07/17/07
I love this!! The voice is perfect and you projected her attitude and outlook on life so well! Great job. The ending was the best--Beyond great! I wanted to cheer for her. Wahoo! :D
Mariane Holbrook 07/17/07
Very good job. I liked it a lot and I hope you place!
Cheri Hardaway 07/17/07
"I feel His presence settle over me like a golden, gossamer veil with the side effect of goosebumps." -- MY FAVORITE LINE!!!!

You've captured the true essence of confidence and beauty here, and exposed the world's lie. Beauty, true beauty, emanates from the inside out, fueled by the Holy Spirit.

Awesome job! Blessings, Cheri
Loren T. Lowery07/17/07
I remember reading once that when a famous model died she said that she felt her life boiled down to only one thing, "I am but a coat hanger." Your article points out we are much more than our clothes, looks or vocations. Great job!
Joy Faire Stewart07/17/07
There are so many facets to this story. It's one of my favorites this week. Excellent writing.
Kristen Hester07/17/07
What a original idea for a story. Very nice. I enjoyed it and loved seeing the "model world". I do agree with one of the other comments that models are usually much taller. However, print models may sometimes be shorter I think.
Verna Cole Mitchell 07/18/07
Sometimes just skipping around, I miss an excellent story--like this one. There were so many descriptions and phrases I liked, for example "the empty canvas of her face" and "God confidence." This was right-on for the topic, with a right-on message.
Trevas Walker07/18/07
Beautifully written, and with a wonderful message.

The only thing I questioned as I read it was a 5'2" model. My sister is a model, she is 5'6" and that isn't tall enough according to alot of the agencies she tries to work with.

Other than that minor point, your entry was simply awsome.
Jacquelyn Horne07/18/07
Yes, confidence comes from the Lord. We're lost without his support.
Terry R A Eissfeldt 07/18/07
Wow, quite the glimpse into the world of modeling. Intriguing and interesting. You made me care about the characters. Good writing.
Pat Guy 07/18/07
I loved the "miniaturized surfboards" description ... and the ending!

A really good voice all the way through - felt the change of attitude once she started taliking to her Heavenly Father - really VERY good!