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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Christmas (04/25/05)

TITLE: A ‘Screwy’ Letter
By Corinne Smelker


My Dear Strumpet:

I am most surprised you would even raise the question of the holiday where humans celebrate the birth of the Enemy’s son. We have worked long and hard at getting rid of all religious overtones, and bringing in only ‘good will and cheer.’ Of course, we never tell them to how to attain good will and cheer without the medium of religion, but we let the little beasts think they can accomplish it through their own sheer strength.

As a result, Christmas has become nothing more than a reason to eat, drink and be miserable at a relative’s house. We have also created such animosity toward those who profess to love the enemy (such as your human) that they are ridiculed in public. Our Father Below had a stroke of genius in the United States when he totally thwarted “Separation of Church and State” and the outcome is clear for all to see today.

Even here in the United Kingdom I overheard one human say to another at a bus stop, “I don’t mind Christians as a whole, but I do mind them bringing religion into everything! Can’t they just leave Christmas alone!” As long as we keep the true meaning of the season away from these piddling mortals, we will continue to overstock hell and keep the Underseers happy.

Now on a more personal note with your own vermin, I mean human. She is probably filled with the wonder of the season - good - keep her eyes on the trees, the decorations and even if possible Father Christmas (another good tool that we have used for our own purposes.) At all times keep in the forefront of her mind the money she has to outlay to keep everyone around her cheerful. Let her think happiness is something concrete that can be bought, and it is her honour-bound duty to make her family happy. The more you focus her attention on the tangible, the less she will look to the intangible.

Use the general ill will we have so cleverly built up towards the Christians to beat her down. When she says, “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays” at her place of employment, make sure other employees become offended (work with your fellow tormentors to achieve that) and complain. If she puts up a religious card (and seeing she is so in love with the Enemy, she will) create a stir amongst the other tormentors and try to have her officially reprimanded, and a notation put in her file. Make the whole idea of Christmas distasteful to her. We have worked diligently to undermine this day. We have done a wonderful job with Easter, and now that we have achieved that, we have concentrated all our efforts on Christmas.

Remember above all, even though she has gone to the Enemy’s side, we have all the weapons of the world on our side. We have made this world a very uncomfortable place for these Christians – continue to prick her with discomfort, and she will turn back to the true side, or else…

Your loving Auntie


In tribute to C. S Lewis and “The Screwtape Letters”

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This article has been read 995 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Lee Schab 05/02/05
Wow! Totally creative and clever, extremely well written. Held my interest throughout. The more I read, the more I realize how fierce the competetion will be this week.
Wonderful job!
Blessings, Lynda
Dixie Phillips05/02/05
There's so much "truth" hidden throughout this story. A person has to read it over and over again to get all the "gold" nuggets. Great job! Makes a person really think!
Kyle Chezum05/02/05
I loved it, especially the "Auntie Diabolica." Good job!
Maxx .05/05/05
Nice, nice, nice! Makes me want to go back and re-read the Screwtape letters. Thanks!
Debbie OConnor05/05/05
Val Clark05/08/05
A great read, in true CSL tradition. Nice twist with the Aunty.