The Official Writing Challenge
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06/14/07
Just like High school! Oh, the angst of the teen girl's heart and the unrequited love that goes with it. You captured the scene well. :)
06/15/07
Is it OK to love this piece? I was really enjoying it, until Dillon said that. Then I felt really, really sad for poor Gina. But this is sooo like high school crushes. I think you've touched on the genre perfectly!
Oh, the drama...

You hit the nail on the head with the over-the-top flowery love poem and the callousness of the kids and Dillon. The embarrassing behavior was on too. Well done.
06/16/07
Great story. My high school science teacher told me to think of my audience as a field of cabbages (that was back in the days when picturing people naked was definitely NOT done!) Well done.
06/18/07
The absolutely PERFECT description of a high school crush. You pegged it for sure. Loved it!
06/18/07
This is super! I especially loved the sonnet--exactly like one a high schooler would write--and I grinned out loud at the revised last two lines. Top notch!
This is a great short story. You've captured the "crush" syndrome perfectly and how easily it can be squashed as well. The description is outstanding.
What an embarrassing moment! Many teens have probably been through similar situations and will identify with this.
This is so like high school...the crusches, the fickleness! I really liked this. It's great.
06/20/07
Oooh, very sneaky twist here. I feel so bad for Gina. And that idiot, Dillion (or whatever his name was-lol) I wanted to whack him good. It was interesting to use your title throughout the story. It added a different note. Nice.
06/20/07
I've just relived my high school years, and it wasn't fun. Reading your story was, tho, I really enjoyed it.
I, too, had a flash-back to those days standing in front of the classroom. Loved the line - "Like instant strawberry pudding dissolving in milk, my face turned a velvet shade of red..." Been there and done that. This is absolutely wonderful. Beautifully done! Bravo.
06/20/07
Did you read my diary from my teen years? Wow could I relate! You started that off with a bang, I love a line that gets your attention. Well written, and perfect for this genre. Loved it!
Amazing writing. Your words were like a time machine that cetainly did trasport me back to high school. I could relate to the high school crush and having to stand up in front of class so well on many occasions. One time, though this was only in seventh grade, I was giving an oral report along with a visual that I designed. I was cruelly teased for rocking back and forth from foot to foot,and having trouble finding my voice, I was no nervous.

The sad thing was that not only did most of the students mock me but in the next clas we had together the teacher herself joined the students unprofessionally and made a spectacle of me.

I don't think that teacher lasted long though because she was frequently name calling other students and causing problems.

My heart throb then was my own literature teacher,Mr.Parr. He had said that my writing was impeccable and my visual was so well done.In front of the class he asked me if he could keep my visual for an example for next year's class.It was a large 3- D Steam boat I had spent alot of time designing myself to capture the essence of my biography,Mark Twain.

I don't know what ever became of that project but Mr.Parr's kindess and encouragement gave me the boost of confidence I needed and he will forever be sweetly remembered.
06/21/07
Talk about grabbing the readers attention with the first line!! Great teen story! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
06/21/07
***Congrats!***
06/21/07
Excellent - congrats on a well-deserved win!
I was looking to see who wrote the brain bad-poetry poem and lighted on your story. Once begun I couldn't put it down. Very graphic of teen emotion and reminded me of a textbook my daughter had in college titled, "Sometimes You Have Just Stand There Naked." I remember being shocked at the title and asking her what in the world the book was about and what were educators thinking giving it a name like that. She said it just meant sometimes we have be transparent with people, that it's better in the long run not to try to be someone we aren't. I had t agree with that though my conservative soul was still wounded!!
06/30/07
Hey! I never did congratulate you on a job well done! I really enjoyed this - it was sooooo good and on the money.

I think you're right. We must do our best when we write in our true voice .... teenager's! :)

Woop whoop to us!
07/05/07
"I stood in front of the shrubbery of learning minds..."

"After the bell I waited in my den of self-pity for everyone else to leave before I uncurled from my fetal position..."

Loved these descriptions! And the title was perfect; draws the reader in with curiosity.

Congratulations on a job well done!

Cheri