Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Write something in the YOUNG ADULT or TEEN genre (06/07/07)

TITLE: Something Worth Leaving Behind
By Sara Harricharan
06/13/07


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

I felt like a dormouse.

Right after the screaming started. I don’t understand how two people once in love can hate each other so much.

Or how they can claw my fuzzy world apart and still be fighting.

Tears stream down my face. Burning even as they fall in perfect, watery coins on my burgundy bible cover.

Swabbing them away with my cheesecloth, I sit down on the bed to scribble a last note. A torn page from a notebook will work fine.

I kiss the top of the page to leave a lip print. Mauve Mocha, my first lipstick shade.

‘Mom, Dad, I love you. Remember me.’ I fold the paper in half and across, scrawling ‘Love Cassie’ on the front before tucking it halfway under the flap of my bible.

From the duffel in front of me, I take my prayer journal, opening to the page with the ribbon marker, I empty my thoughts in short sentences.

Father, are you sure I shouldn’t stay? You aren’t pushing me to go, but you won’t let me stay. Where are you sending me? My heart is breaking in two, can you fix it?

I chew the pen and look around for a moment. My bedroom is bare. I’ve packed most of what I want.

Yarren may be able to take more. I hope so. I don’t want to leave my stuff behind, but I will if I have to.

Closing the journal, I tuck it inside the duffel and zipper it shut. Walking to the mirror on the wall, I pull out a necklace.

A gold pendant, shaped like a teardrop, with nothing inside. As empty as I feel.

I hold it up to the mirror and wait, eyes closed.

There is a bright flash from behind and I turn to see Yarren standing right behind me.
He is wearing his official uniform and he still hasn’t gotten that haircut.

Dark hair is pulled into a short, neat, ponytail. I see that he has dyed the ends green to match his wrist guards.

“Cassie?” He reaches out with a kerchief and I let him wipe the tears away. “Are you sure…?”

I take a deep breath and nod before grabbing him in a hug. “I don’t have any peace about staying. I’m anxious about what I’ll do when I get there, but nothing about leaving. Just sort of…quiet and sad.”

Yarren mumbles from above my duffel. “You’re traveling twenty-two hundred years into the future. There is plenty to worry about and nothing, as long as you are in His care. He did bring us together for a reason.”

“I don’t want to go down in history.” I sniffle into his sensible shoulder. “I just want to be remembered.”

I feel him nodding and turn to watch as he spins a green energy globe on his fingertips.

It darts away, sucking up everything in my room.

“Leave the bible!” I blurt, relieved when the globe halts and allows me to retrieve it. “It’s staying.”

“You’re sure?” Yarren catches the globe and tucks it into a pocket.

“Don’t they have bibles in the future?” I counter, setting it on the floor of my now bare bedroom.

He grins.

I smile back. “It’s just something worth leaving behind.”

His smile softens. “Are you ready?”

“You’re the warpmaster.” I tease, struggling to recover an inkling of happiness.

The yelling is getting louder and the sound of footsteps on the stairway draw me back to the present.

“Yarr-!” I start, he grabs me tight and I close my eyes, fisting my hands in his shirt collar.

There is a flash…a pull…and peace.

Thank you, Father!


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 1373 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Betty Castleberry06/14/07
At first I thought this was going to be a typical teen run away story, but it wasn't. Nice twist, although I admit I didn't quite get all the details. I wasn't sure if leaving the Bible was a good thing or a bad thing. No matter, this piece was well written. Kudos.
Sheri Gordon06/14/07
Nice story. My favorite line was, "A gold pendant, shaped like a teardrop, with nothing inside. As empty as I feel." Brilliant imagery.
Betty Castleberry06/14/07
Oh, I feel silly. If I had looked at the title I would have understood about the Bible. (blush)
Kaylee Blake 06/15/07
Wow. Very interesting. It really fits the genre. At first, I thought it was going to be a suicide story, but you surprised me. I'd love to have more details, though. I'm going to expect a follow up to this story in the near future (no pun intended ;). I really loved the whole "something to leave behind" line and how it all tied in. Keep up the great work!
Cheri Hardaway 06/15/07
I love the title and how the story unfolds what it means. Descriptions are great throughout.

I must admit, I wanted many, many more details. I wanted to understand more thoroughly what was going on.

Well-written. Kept my attention focused all the way through, and left me wanting more. Blessings, Cheri
Julie Arduini06/15/07
Great twist here, I didn't see it going the way that it did. I too wanted more details, I sense the word limit was the culprit. Nice job, the title was perfect!
Joanne Sher 06/18/07
I hope this is the start of something longer, Sara. You definitely got my interest! Great description and characterization.
Jan Ackerson 06/18/07
More, please!

A nitpick: "Bible" is always capitalized.

Honestly--this begs to be expanded. I was utterly delighted when it became sci-fi, and immediately wanted to read chapters and chapters of this.
Verna Cole Mitchell 06/18/07
It looks like you have a chapter in your sci-fi novel!
Your descriptions are beautiful. I loved the tears on the Bible. An outstanding story!
Myrna Noyes06/18/07
Wow! What an interesting, unusual story! With it's Sci-Fi theme, I'm sure it would capture the attention of teens. I thought it was going to be an "ordinary" story, but you certainly fooled me with this creative entry! :)
Catrina Bradley 06/18/07
Wow, I was fooled twice as to where you were going. I like the twists and surprises. Great descriptions, great writing. :)
Loren T. Lowery06/19/07
You certainly seem to have a knack for Sci-fi with your imaginative writing and story telling. I like the way your characters all appear warm and personable - people I woulnd't mind following along in an extended adventure.
Kristen Hester06/20/07
Wow. How creative and interesting. I wanted to read much more about this adventure/mission. Great writing!
Benjamin Graber06/20/07
Wow, this one is sad but powerful. I enjoyed the read.
Brenda Welc06/20/07
I bow to your writing ability and sure glad i'm in beginners and you are in advanced! I really liked this story, it is a very unusal peice and well written.
Trevas Walker06/20/07
I really like this. I love that you fit a sci fi piece into the teen genre and it just works. Great job! You left me wanting to read more.
T. F. Chezum06/21/07
Very good. Very creative. I hope to see more of it.
Sharlyn Guthrie06/23/07
Very creative piece, and I'm sure many teens fantasize about leaving their unhappy life situations behind. A trip to the future? Why not? Keep up the great writing.