The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
06/14/07
I really like this -- it would make a great longer story.

I think you have another allegory besides God being ignored by us. As I was reading about Mindy's frustration with being ignored, I likened it to parents with their teenagers. In a longer version, Mindy could not only realize her mistake with ignoring God, but with her parents as well.

Good job. Can you expand it? :)
I do horse rescue and this horse's behavior rings really true to life. I've never heard of the heroin thing, though: does that really happen? Every track does drug tests so it would be pretty stupid for someone to try it...'course, there are a lot of stupid people out there. I enjoyed this story a great deal.

As an owner of horses, this story rings true about the bond of trust that must be established...it takes time, patience, consistency. But the rewards are hard to describe. I remember the first time my horse came running up to me as I was walking out in our pasture...I couldn't have been more proud or more humbled; or as in your story shows, had a more gladdened heart. Great job!
06/15/07
Lovely story. Lots of depth and thought provoking.
06/18/07
Wonderful story with a great message for teens and adults!
06/19/07
Just FYI - you are in advanced because you are a WONDERFUL writer. :D

That said, this was great - you did a wonderful job of weaving the lesson in, and of developing the relationships, especially between Cassidy and the horse. Excellent.
As I was reading your story, I found myself wanting the girl to change direction and the horse to bond with her. This is a good read.
Oh......soooooo good! Very good for teens. I want to hear more, but you crammed a lot into these few words.
06/20/07
Love the opening sentence. And the one after it too. lol. This was great, I can definitely see it being expanded on. I liked the character of the horse and especially at the end. It just sort of fits. I also like Mindy's story. She's been through a lot and it looks like maybe she'll make it through all right. Good job with this.
06/21/07
***Congrats on your highly commended!***