The Official Writing Challenge
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06/14/07
I love having the option to pick my ending - I KNOW teens would love that. Very realistic emotions here.
06/14/07
I love this story! This is a great description: "Her heart felt as though it had been forced through a paper shredder". The big ole bear dad was awesome! I didn't see that coming but then my dad wouldn't have done that. He'd still be laughing in the dining room while I wailed in my room. My ending choice is A ... just kidding - it's B of course. I love the fast forward to her sharing her faith with her daughter like her dad did with her. This is a great description: "Her heart felt as though it had been forced through a paper shredder". And an important lesson to boot. Great writing and great job!! :)
A great teen story. I loved the dad. The second ending is my choice--just rounds it out so nicely!
06/18/07
Great story! I definitely choose the second ending. I felt your story was so real and that I could picture everything, and I seemed to relate best to the dad - underestimating the weight of someone's feelings,telling a stupid joke and apologizing for it later. It was an easy read and kept my attention throughout. Great teen drama! Thank you!
06/18/07
A story any teen can identify with! I like the two choices at the end. Good writing.
This was such fun with the two endings. If I read it right, it's not supposed to really be a "choose your own ending". It is supposed to show what happens when you don't give God a chance and have faith. Everyone wants the second ending. Right? I really liked it. Very well done. The dad is great.
06/18/07
The alternate endings were a GREAT device! I'd love to see that expanded...with choices in other parts of the story.

Really well done, and a great, non-preachifying way to get your point across. Lots of great phrases here, and compelling characters.
Another great story, I loved the display of the father-daughter relationship here.
I choose ending #2... Still looking forward to what God's going to do... :-)
One of my favorite lines from your story: "Her heart felt as though it had been forced through a paper shredder ... a thousand pieces of unreadable scraps."
This shows so much creative thought and imagination.

I liked the trust the daughter had for her dad and the honesty the dad showed towards his daughter...such a great relationship and something that needs to have more written about.

Of course option "B". That's where your characters and your wrting style all belong. Great job.
06/20/07
I liked the dad. Just like mine. Honest, real and there-for-you. This was a good twist on handling the '1st breakup'. I liked the optional endings too. Of course, I'm going with option B. Option A didn't really sound all that realistic, though it could happen. This was fun. Good title, thanks for sharing this!
06/21/07
I "came calling" to thank you for your welcome comment on my entry, and found your delightful story. It's just beautiful. My only "criticism," since ending B is so obviously the best choice, would be to beef-up ending A (if word count allows). (smile!) That way your teen reader would have to give more thought to the alternative of making wrong choices. But, I love your creative mind, and the happy ending. Double "Thank Yous" are in order.