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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Write something in the YOUNG ADULT or TEEN genre (06/07/07)

TITLE: Gurlz Nite Out
By Birdie Courtright


Adrian watched from across the courtyard as the three girls approached Zayda; this was not going to be pretty. Zayda Alexander was the new kid on the block, and hungry for friends—but Adrian knew the ‘terrible trio’ all too well. She’d fallen victim to their games more than once.

Adrian jumped as she felt a ticklish poke to her back. “Hey! ‘sup girlie girl? You going to the library or not?”

“Oh! Jodie you scared me!”

“So…you goin’? Come on, we’re gonna be late.”

“K—ya, I’ll walk with you. I was just watchin’ Sara and her crew. Looks like they’re after Zayda. Poor thing, you think she’ll fall for it?”

“Probably…we all do at least once. Some of us more than once…ha, ha!”

“That is sooo not funny miz marks-a-lot!”

“Hey, Hey! Don’t get rude wit’ your girl, here! I learned my lesson the hard way--$500 fine for taggin’ lockers and 50 hours of community service for something they did—ya, this girl don’t play with those girls no mo’! But you…Princess A—oh no, you said ‘they’re my Girls—they won’t do that to me…’ Ya, Right!”

Adrian stopped abruptly. “Don’t go there…” The incident was still a sore spot. She thought she’d gotten over it until now, but the flush rising in her cheeks gave her away. Biting her lip, she struggled for a moment to fight back tears of rage.

“I’m sorry, A. Let’s just drop it.” Jodie was a little startled to see that Adrian was still hurting over Sara’s cruel trick. She’d convinced Adrian to give her MySpace password to one of the guys on the baseball team who’d promised to add some tight graphics. The graphics were tight all right, and the video he posted of Adrian at a slumber party with his sister made her the laughing stock of the whole school.

“I never did those things!” Adrian shot back, remembering the horror of seeing herself in a patched together video that made it look as though she had a thing for Mark’s sister. He’d changed her layout to one of those horrible sexy girl backgrounds and changed her name to ‘I luv gurlz’. It was all over school before Adrian found out about it.

“Hey—back away with the dagger, girlfriend! I didn’t tag those lockers either. Point is, Zayda doesn’t stand a chance. You know Sara…she loves the innocent types. Poor Zayda doesn’t have a clue.”

The two glanced back at the foursome across the quad. Zayda threw her head back, laughing as the three other girls giggled along with her. Yep, they were going to take her out before she ever got a chance to build a rep at her new school. Adrian and Jodi locked eyes.

“Are you thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’? A smile began to play across Jodi’s face.

“Hello! Aren’t I always thinkin’ what you’re thinkin’? We can catch up with Zayda after school; Sara won’t even know what hit her.”

“Hey, Zayda…slow down…where you going in such a hurry?”

“Oh…hey Jodi! Well, I’m supposed to meet Sara Liften and her friends at the park. Do you know her? She seems really nice. She invited me to a slumber party Friday night.”

“No, no, no Zayda…no slumber parties with Sara. That’s the first rule you need to know about this school.” Adrian and Jodi giggled, as Zayda shot them a quizzical look. “You’re coming with us Friday night.”

“I am?”

“Yes, you are. We have Gurlz Nite Out on Fridays. It’s sort of a…well, a ‘victims of Sara’ support group.”

“What are you talking about? I don’t get it.”

“Ya…that’s the point. We don’t want you to get it. So…we’re inviting you in now, before she gets to you. See, we have this friend…Lydia. She’s like 23 and very cool. She goes to our church. After what Sara did to Adrian a few months ago, Lydia suggested we start hanging out with her on Friday nights. It started out with just the three of us at Lydia’s apartment, but now we meet at the church rec center because there’s about twenty of us. It’s the most fun ever. We do everything together. The only rule…you have to build up your crew…no claws allowed…when someone’s down, we’re there for them.”

“Well…I’m not down…”

“I know” Adrian interjected, shooting Jodi a nervous glance “but if you hang with Sara for very long, you will be. Let me tell you about Sara’ slumber parties…”

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Member Comments
Member Date
Lisa Holloway06/16/07
Realistic dialogue. I'm glad they reached out to Zayda before she needed it.
Donna Howard06/16/07
Know who your friends are, and help protect the naive if at all possible. Two good messages for teens. Realistic dialog. I like it.
Sharlyn Guthrie06/16/07
Your dialogue seems very realistic. I'm sure many girls can relate to the experience of being "used" by other girls. I like your solution to the problem. Niced job!
Dee Yoder 06/18/07
Very good writing and a story any teen can identify with. I like the dialog, too.
Janice Cartwright07/31/07
I thought you tagged the genre well and enjoyed reading this story. It held my interest with just the right mix of dialogue and action. I also believe you could reach a teen with this as they would be more likely to relate to the language. good job!!