The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 879 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Wow. This is very moving and powerful. I felt all the girl's emotions and feelings. A teen could really relate to this. Hopefully, they would look ahead to your last entry and think before acting. It's a painful mistake as she says...even if no one gets pregnant. Nice writing. Good job.
06/15/07
Oh, just EXCELLENT! This was absolutely authentic, and a message that needs to be heard. You told it SO well. This is an awesome lesson for teens AND parents. You did a great job with the voice especially - you changed it just enough in the last entry to make it believable as an older, wiser version of the earlier ones, but still enough to believe it is the same person.
06/15/07
Like the diary entry format, it is creative and very appealing to the readers for YA. Nice problem and character introductions in
the beginning. Very real transition in entries 2, 3, & 4. The last entry is very good, but I think suffers from a bit of a perspective issue. I'd suggest writing directly to the diary;
instead of "I lost this little diary", "I lost you."
The verse at the end is well chosen. Overall, what a great piece of writing - very well done. I like best that you didn't back down to the issue and used the right amount of reality and detail.
06/15/07
Wow! This is powerful! I like the voice you used to tell it. It's painfully real for too many people I know. The last diary entry was especially poignant, the reflecting on the past and the last verse on the end. The one word title is good, it fits and so does this story. Awesome writing!
This is an excellent story. I especially like the idea of purity as a gift God gives you at birth. Wow! Not a very popular idea today, but true, nonetheless.
Wow, this powerfully shows the value of purity and saving yourself for marriage. I also liked the "diary" format that you used.
06/15/07
Fab! I love this - especially the voice change in the last entry. You nailed the different ages. Beautiful!
06/15/07
This was good, and you managed not to overdo her lesson learned too. I think you feel like you're not so sure about it becuse you couldn't write enough about the main point of the story. You could have left out her parents divorce and then you would have had more words to really get into the character's emotional psyche. You were able to a little in the attic picture, which was beautiful.

Well done.
Great idea for a teen story! The all-important diary. You did an excellent job of tackling realistic and vital events in a teen's life.

Nicely done.
06/18/07
That last sentence just broke my heart. Very well written.
06/18/07
Good story! I like the way your character's voice "matures" in the last diary entry. You did a good job of tucking an important messgae into a very readable story.