The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
Oh, WOW. This was absolutely beautiful. It reminded me a bit of Romeo and Juliet, especially with the window scene. What a wonderful, sad reminder that once upon a time, young men--teens, even!--could be chivalrous and intelligent. Awesome job.
06/14/07
This is definetly a piece for teen girls like me! How romantic! And the pictures you painted were so stunning! Excellent, excellent, excellent! You'll be passing onto Masters soon, at this rate.
I agree! This was lovely.
It could be published if you decided to add chapters! No constructive comments from me ... I wouldn't change anything!
A lovely story, written excellently!
06/18/07
Oaky, THIS needs to be a movie. Wonderful, and not at all what I expected.
06/18/07
You know, Ben, no matter what you write, it's poetry. The language of this was strikingly beautiful. I would have LOVED this as a teen (love it now LOL). Wonderful and sweet.
I was glad to read something with classic appeal. Teenagers from all times, past and present, can relate to this. What a beautiful tale!
06/18/07
Beautiful story that teens would love to read. A good moral to the story, too!
What a sweet, lovely, beautiful story. I just wish it was longer. Perfect for this age group and for romantics of all ages.
06/20/07
Not that my opinion counts.. but I have a feeling that with writing like this, you will be onto masters in no time. With so few words you painted such a beautiful picture. Simply Awesome!
06/20/07
Wonerfully written. Very captivating storyline!
06/20/07
A love triangle! How sweet. I love the ending best of all. This is one of those rosy-feel-good stories that make you just smile and think about it for awhile. And then the deeper meaning sets in and by then, well, the story has served it's purpose. Excellent, wonderful writing! ^_^
06/22/07
Wow! What can I say that hasn't already been said? Your wordsmithing has created a Masterpiece here...Great Job! Kudos!
I see you've placed well with this and recieved tons of praise. I will say that you've done an awesome job here already. But it is not my style to comment without suggestion, so here goes:

I really liked the snotty character of the nobleman's son, and the last line of the story could not hav been written better. But didn't he feel attracted to the angel in the beginning as well? And he even stole her attention from the bard. Perhapse the nobleman's son could hint at the fact that he believes Robert is better for her than he is as well. Like a small tiff of frustration that he hadn't even thought to clean the floor for her father.

Anyway, this was a great read. You really don't need my help.