The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Are there chspters 1-9?
I liked the story line, but would love to read it all!
My suggestion is to think about spacing this a little better. Especially when there is dialogue. Each character's dialogue needs to begin a new paragraph with a space in between. It makes it much easier for the reader. I hope you will continue with more chapters! Looks like a fun read.
I think I recognize the writing style and it is one I like. Was this story inspired by Proverbs 22:13, or 26:13? Or perhaps a reverse take on the boy who cried wolf.
For a challenge entry, starting in chapter nine is very confusing to the reader. I have no idea what's going on here. It could be a very good story with a little more information.