Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Join Faith
Writers
Forum
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Get Our Daily Devotional             Win A Publishing Package             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Write something suitable for CHILDREN (05/31/07)

TITLE: Alexander and Rosie
By Shari Armstrong
06/07/07


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Alexander Elephant walked slowly, with his trunk dragging the ground. “It’s not fair!”

“What’s not fair?” a voice above him said.

Alexander looked up and up, to see his friend Rosie Giraffe nibbling on some leaves high in the tree. “My trunk is too long. The others keep making fun of me,” he said.

Rosie leaned her head down to look her friend in the eye. “I think your trunk is just fine.”

“What do you know? You are a giraffe. You are long all over.” Alexander made a sad trumpet with his trunk, “Bweeet.”

“I get made fun of, too.”

Alexander looked up at his friend. “You do?”

“Yes. My spots are different. The other giraffes have smooth spots. Mine are wiggly on the edges. That is why Mama called me Rosie. She said my spots looked like flowers.”

Alexander tilted his head and looked at his friend. “Yes, they do kind of look like flowers. But, doesn’t it hurt when they make fun of you?”

“Yes,” she said and the nibbled on another leaf. “But not anymore. I know that my family loves me. And, I have good friends like you.” She took a few leaves off the branch and dropped them. “Here, have some yummy leaves.”

”Barooo,” trumpeted Alexander. “Thank you. Even with my long trunk, I still can’t reach those yummy leaves.”

Rosie smiled and said, “Let’s go play in the watering hole. It’s getting hot.”

“Race you!” Alexander began to run toward the watering hole.

Rosie quickly passed him with her long legs. She walked into the water, waiting for Alexander to get there.

Alexander got to the water’s edge and used his long trunk to send a shower of water high into the air, not quite reaching Rosie’s head.

Rosie laughed, “See? Your long trunk is great for water fights.” She leaned down and used her head to splash water in the direction of her friend.

The two played and played until they heard Alexander’s mommy call him to come home.
“Barooo.” Alexander waved with his trunk. “See you tomorrow, Rosie!”

”Bye, Alexander.” Rosie joined her herd at the other side of the watering hole and nuzzled her mama’s long neck and went to sleep.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 1001 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Amy Michelle Wiley 06/07/07
Fun story! Cute. :-)
Helen Dowd 06/08/07
Cute story. It brings out a point of being content with how God made you. I am wondering, though if maybe you could have made this story into an allegory, pointing out more clearly to children that point--that God has a purpose for each and every one of us, and had a reason for making us just like we are. Enjoyed the story.
Verna Cole Mitchell 06/08/07
A sweet story, well written, with a good message for children.
Gregory Kane06/09/07
A charming story. I particularly liked the “Bweeet” and the “Barooo.”
I wonder if the piece isn’t a bit short, whether you could have added some further action to bring out more of the playfulness in the two scenes. I remember when my son read a book belonging his older brother, he complained that there was too much conversation in it. He was used to children’s books where there was more happening and less talking. Just a thought.
Rita Garcia06/10/07
Very well written! Cute, charming and a story children will love!
Joanne Sher 06/11/07
I love the lesson implicit in this, told in such a fun and age-appropriate way. Great job!
Sandra Petersen 06/11/07
A great lesson and a good story all rolled up into one. I, too, thought the animal sounds were well done. Good job!
Jan Ackerson 06/11/07
I'll bet your own little ones loved this charming animal story! I especially loved the last part, curling up with mom.
Betty Castleberry06/11/07
This is a charming animal tale. I think little ones would love this. Nicely done.
Dee Yoder 06/12/07
The sounds Alexander makes with his trunk are really fun! I think children would enjoy hearing this story and making sound effects along with Alexander. Cute!
Dara Sorensen06/13/07
I like it ^_^ I like the giraffe--it's my favorite animal ;)

It was a bit short, but then again, younger children like shorter stories, especially ones with animals. Great job!
Kristen Hester06/13/07
This is very nice with a great message. I like that it is short. Younger kids like shorter stories.

Is there a typo in the 9th paragraph? "The" instead of "then"? I wasn't sure.

I liked that Rosie pointed out the advantage of Alexander's long trunk. I would have like to see this expanded upon. His long trunk saves the day some how. But then again, maybe that's getting too complicated. Great job!
Jacquelyn Horne06/13/07
Great story for children to learn about being different!
Kate Grey06/13/07
Great story! I especially liked the sounds Alexander made. :)
David Butler 06/13/07
I think you'll find few kids stories that don't feature an elephant and a giraffe in it somewhere. Eternal favorites with kids. My story does, but they've got an Aussie accent, and can't say "Bweet" and "Baroo" with as much style as yours. ;)
Can't wait to read it to my Grandkids (when they arrive.)
LaNaye Perkins06/14/07
I just love animal stories, and this one was just precious! I loved it.
Sara Harricharan 06/14/07
Pretty nice. My only note is where Rosie is nibbling the leaf, maybe change it to nibbling instead of nibble. Otherwise, this was fun. I liked the names and the touch of Rosie having flower-shaped spots. That was cute. I wish there'd been a little more, but it was good as is. ^_^
Cheri Hardaway 06/15/07
Precious! Loved it!