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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Write something suitable for CHILDREN (05/31/07)

TITLE: A Full Moon and a Grak-ack
By T. F. Chezum
06/07/07


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Suzy climbed onto her bed. She hugged Mr. Fluff, her favorite stuffed bear.

Suzy’s mom tucked the blankets around the young girl. “You need to sleep, Sweetie. It’s been a busy day.”

Half empty boxes cluttered the floor of the bedroom. Suzy’s family moved from a crowded apartment in the city to a nice house on a small farm in the country. Suzy spent most of the day carrying boxes and searching for her favorite toys.

“I don’t like it, Mommy,” Suzy whimpered. “I’m scared.”

“We’re just in the next room.” The girl’s mom gave her a kiss on the cheek and turned on the nightlight. “Good night.”

Suzy couldn’t fall asleep. She thought she saw monsters in every shadow. She grabbed a flashlight from her nightstand and shined it around her room.

“What are you doing?” Joshua stood at her door. “There’s nothing in your room.” He walked over to the window beside her bed. “It’s what’s outside that should worry you.”

Suzy stared at her brother. “Why?”

“I heard that the last family that lived here had a girl about your age.” A mean grin spread across the older boy’s face. “One night, during a full moon, a grack-ack wandered down from the hills. All she ever saw was its glowing green eyes. Then it gobbled the little girl up. The family moved, and the house has been empty ever since.”

Suzy began to cry. “Go away.”

“What’s wrong?” Suzy’s dad asked.

“Joshua said a monster ate the other girl that lived here.” She hugged her father.

“There are no monsters.” Her dad’s voice was soothing. “I’m sure Joshua was just trying to scare you. Now try and sleep.” He grabbed Joshua by the shoulder and walked him out of the room.

Suzy tossed and turned. She looked out the window. “Oh, no. It’s a full moon.”

She felt scared.

A strange sound out in the yard made her jump. She peered through the window, but couldn’t see anything. She shined her flashlight into the darkness. Near a bush in the distance she saw two green glowing eyes. “It’s the grack-ack!” She screamed.

Suzy’s mom and dad came running to her room. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s the grack-ack, just like Joshua said.” Suzy began to cry again.

“There’s no such thing, honey.” Suzy’s mom embraced her. “Since your brother told you the story, we’ll have him go out and show you there’s nothing out there.”

The group walked out into the yard. Joshua took the lead, holding the light in front of him.

“It was over there.” Suzy pointed to the bushes.

Joshua crept closer to the shrubs. “I don’t see anything,” he said.

Just then a rustling could be heard and a shadow emerged from the bushes. Joshua screamed and dropped the light.

Suzy squealed. “Look! It’s a little kitty.”

A small grey kitten bounced toward the girl.

“Can we keep it, mommy? Can we?” She squatted down to pet it.

“Of course you can.” Suzy’s mom laughed. “See, we told you there were no monsters.”


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This article has been read 736 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Dee Yoder 06/07/07
Serves the brother right! Cute story that addresses common childhood fears.
Joanne Sher 06/08/07
Bratty brother! This sounds like what happens in many families - I know kids will relate. Enjoyed this very much, though the end seemed to be missing something in my opinion - not sure what, though. Great stuff!
Sandra Petersen 06/11/07
I loved the name Mr. Fluff for Suzy's stuffed bear! And 'grack-ack' for the monster was perfect!

You captured the interaction between Joshua and Suzy very well. Mean big brother!

You needed something to introduce that the father had come into the room. He wasn't there, then he was.

This was a cute story. Even though I kinda knew that the green glowing eyes would turn out to be some kind of small animal, when Joshua screamed and the kitten appeared, I was satisfied. Served him right for teasing his sister. Very good job!
Jan Ackerson 06/11/07
Serves him right, and I hope they name the kitty Grack-ack. It's appropriate, because it's the sound a cat makes when suffering from a hairball...

Anyway, this is cute and realistic, and I suspect kids will love it.
Betty Castleberry06/11/07
I never had a brother. Maybe I'm glad I didn't. ;0) This is a story I'm sure lots of kids will relate to. Love the monster moniker, too. Well done.
Verna Cole Mitchell 06/12/07
Ah! Good brother/sister story! Kids will laugh that Joshua was the one who got scared, and all will be glad that the little girl got to keep the kitty.
Kristen Hester06/13/07
I just read this to my 7 year old daughter who has a 9 year old brother. She loved it. Her eyes were wide with fear when Joshua was talking about the monster. She smiled and said "AWWW" when the "monster" was a kitten. Her comment was, "I liked it when she got to keep the kitten." Nice job.
Jacquelyn Horne06/13/07
Always wanted a big brother. Now I'm kinda glad I never had one. This is a cute, true to life, story of siblings.
Pat Guy 06/13/07
Ahhh ... Joshua screamed ... how satisfing! I would have liked a LITTLE more embelished terror concerning him like ... stumbling backwards and stepping on the rake that ended WHOPPING him up side the head.

Um ... well ... I guess such violence doesn't belong in a children's story. :)

I wondered why you were a tad tame! ')
Rita Garcia06/13/07
What a fun story! I love it - monsters and all!
LaNaye Perkins06/14/07
A great story that I'm sure children will love.