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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Write something suitable for CHILDREN (05/31/07)

TITLE: "Cool" is in the Nose of the Picker
By Pat Guy


Picker Town is a way-too-cool town. Even the streets have cool names, like Ö Nostril Lane, Snot Boulevard, Nose Hair Place and Booger Avenue. Oh, and I canít forget, Nose Hole Street. Thatís where Pickerís picker-flicker Champion lives and he thinks heís the king now Ė he thinks heís sooo cool. He wants everybody to call him Picker Davey.

He beat me last year Ė I was just one flick away from winning and I almost cried. But I wasnít Ďbout to do that in front of everybody. I just grit my teeth and looked mad.

But just you wait Ö Iím gonna win this year. Iíve been practicin everyday. My mom says Iím gonna run outta boogers, but not me, I never do. She says I have to flick outside though. (Shhhh Ö I sneak when I take a bath. Did you know boogers float?)

And I canít stand the way Picker Davey walks around with his nose in the air like his nose is the Trophy. Like heís king or something. It makes me so mad I donít even look at him.

I want the real one Ö the real trophy.

Itís the biggest, shiniest gold nose trophy I ever seen! I heard they use a real horseís tail for the nose hairs, and then, thereís this green glop they use that feels just like real boogers. And the best part is, they use your own real finger to make a fake finger to stick up the nose! It-is-so-cool! You can even take it out and switch nose holes! Yeah Ö I sooo canít wait.

Iím going to be the best picker-flicker Picker Town has ever seen. Iím gonna be the winner and get that trophy!

Besides Ö girls are better than boys Ė at everything. Pretty soon heís gonna be calling me Queen Daisy.

Queen Picker Daisy.

Yeah Ö I like that.

Girls are best at everything anyway.

My mom says so. And she can prove it.

Sheís got four shiny gold nose trophies on the shelf and oneís still got green glop in it. (My little brother found them one day when mom took them down to shine them up real pretty so sheís only got one left with boogers in it.)

She has them all lined up under a light and each finger is bigger than the other one and mineís gonna to be right next to hers.

Yeah Ö my-mom-is-sooo-cool.

Picker Daveyís not. (tehe)


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This article has been read 1126 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Dee Yoder 06/07/07
Oh my gosh! I had to call my son up to read this with me and we were repulsed one second, and laughing out of our chairs the next! You've definitely got the 'tween thing down pat with this story. I almost don't want to know who wrote this...seems like there's too much first "hand" knowledge!
Sally Hanan06/07/07
EW! Very inventive and well written, and you certainly win the award for best title:)
Joanne Sher 06/08/07
You've got the perfect story here for the age you have in mind, I'm sure! I'll bet this one would sell like crazy. Ewwwwww (but I'm not your target audience LOL so that's ok, right?)
Lynda Lee Schab 06/08/07
This is the first entry I've read but if I was judging this week (which I'm snot - I mean, NOT), this would for sure be one of my top PICKS! It's so up my alley LOL.
My mom always tells the story of one year when my brothers & I went to Florida with my dad and she wanted to surprise us by painting our rooms while we were gone. So when she moved my bed away from the wall, there was a collage of boogers behind it. It took her a looooong time to chisel them off - so gross! Now that I think about it, maybe I'll write an article about that. There has to be a lesson in there somewhere.
Outrageously funny writing. Perfect entry for this week!
Jan Ackerson 06/11/07
Pat, I'm speechless. This is the funniest, grossest, most audacious, most superlative in every way story that I've ever read. And also, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Betty Castleberry06/11/07
I started to read this once, then navigated away. I wasn't sure I could do it. *However*, I came back and toughed it out. LOL! I am so glad I did. It's a really fun, if disgusting, (that's a compliment) read.
I think kids around 7-10 or so would really love this!
Kristen Hester06/12/07
I am currently trying to break my son's picking habit, so I got a kick out of this one. I don't think I'm going to read it to him. He'd never quit if he read this (They taste good AND you can get a trophy?!) On the other hand, we have been looking for the one thing he can excel in. LOL. Thanks for a fun and gross) read.
Verna Cole Mitchell 06/12/07
This would definitely come in first with preteen boys and younger and maybe older. Don't suppose any of those are judges this week, although children are the target audience. You have written the little girl's voice perfectly. Girls like her would like the story also.
Rita Garcia06/13/07
Oh MY! Yip this is gross! ROFL
Janice Fitzpatrick06/13/07
Great job(re-swallowing down my one partially digested breakfast one more time,GROSSSSS!)LOL. Very funny and appropriate for young readers. Laughed so hard.Reminds me of the Ramona series combined with Captain Underpants and Junie B Jones with great characters. I admire "mom" who relates to being a child.:0)A Keeper for sure!!Also thx hon for the info. Lord bless ya real good!:0)Jance
Jacquelyn Horne06/13/07
True life does leave a bitter taste in our mouths!
Sara Harricharan 06/14/07
Okay. I'm still laughing. Considering I grew up with two brother who could possibly rival Picker Davey-lol. This was a hilarious and interesting read. My only note is the title doesn't quite fit all that great. Just my opinion though. Good job!