The Official Writing Challenge
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06/07/07
I LOVE that opening line, a child would say that. I am so glad this ended the way it did, it was magical. I was right there with you. Well done.
06/09/07
This was great -- your opening line, the creativity of having a faithful dad, even though he's not around, and the joy of a grandparent. Just great!
06/10/07
This is a winner with me! Nice bit of tension in a modern tale about dads...and stepdads. Very creative and imaginative. Loved it!
06/10/07
Good child's story. Little girls love to be princesses.
06/11/07
Great hook in the first sentence, and a very sweet/sad story. Love the character of gramps, and your narrator's voice.

I wonder if past tense would work better than present tense for a children's story. Just a thought...I usually think of present tense as a sort of artsy, grown-up device, and I know that my own low-level readers trip up when reading present tense.

Little girls will love this story, and it's got the right mixture of realism and "magic."
06/11/07
A "Cinderella Story" Indeed, wonderful!
06/11/07
It's every little girls dream to be Cinderella. What a nice surprise to have her Grandfather make her wish come true. This was such a fun story. I like your first line too.
06/11/07
Very nice! (But a hard act for her real Prince to follow!)
06/12/07
This is a very sweet and touching story!

I agree with one of the comments above that past tense might work better. At first I thought you switched tenses, but then realized she's thinking back and then in the present.

It really kept my attention. Thanks so much!
06/12/07
Just delightful! Sweet and lovely and fun! What a gramps.
06/12/07
Oh-so-charming story that many young girls can relate to today! You had a terrific opening line, great dialogue, relevant topic, and wonderfully drawn characters! Your descriptive phrases were excellent, too, such as "The smile fades into the shadows around his chin," and "Giggles come out of me. I wonder where I stored them." Lovely writing! :)
06/13/07
Real, relevent, and oh so needed. Great job.
06/13/07
Captures the heart, that's for sure. I was rooting for her and her dream all the way. Great piece of writing.
06/13/07
Your story is excellently written. I was hoping that the little girl's faith in her father was not misplaced. I loved "Grandpa." He's a winner and is a character worth keeping to use again!
06/14/07
Very beautiful and touching story. A great reminder that some divorced dads good.
06/15/07
How sweet! And it was refreshing to have the divorced dad not be a "deadbeat." My own husband is a divorced daddy (to my stepson), and he has never been a deadbeat dad either. Good work. Blessings, Cheri
11/28/14
Beautiful piece to read.