Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Write something suitable for CHILDREN (05/31/07)

TITLE: Sister Mouse
By Kenn Allan
06/05/07


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

From a niche…

        In the walls…

                Whiskers twitch…

                        Hunger calls…

Days are spent in dark of night
Where endless shadows hide her fright—
Creeping in her former tracks
To peek at life through holes and cracks.

Always sick…

        Often cold…

                Seldom quick…

                        Never bold…

See her scurry from the sun,
Keeping busy, little done—
Minutes filled with timeless skill
Lest someone spot her standing still.

Empty cheeks…

        Narrow view…

                Lonely squeaks…

                        Nothing new…

No one cares or dares to pause
For echoes scratched by frantic claws—
Few have time to lend an ear
To silent cries too high to hear.

Freedom lost…

        Chances missed…

                Lines are crossed…

                        Must resist…

Not a crumb nor single hair
Betrays the fact that she is there—
On her shoulders rests no blame
As long as all remains the same.

Bitter tears…

        Troubles shared…

                Clinging fears…

                        Running scared…

Nothing ventured, nothing gained,
Deprived of peace our LORD ordained—
No amount of pleadings prayed
Can soothe the soul that lives afraid.

Life’s a blur…

        Don’t be grim…

                Learn from her…

                        Trust in Him.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 895 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sally Hanan06/07/07
Beautifully done. It may run a bit too deep for a child, but I loved it all!
Joanne Sher 06/08/07
Lovely message and format. This might work for pre-teens, I think.
Mo 06/10/07
You're an awesome poet!
Jan Ackerson 06/11/07
Awww, the poor thing!

I think you analyzed your own work perfectly in your hint--but what you neglected to say was that it's also a superb piece of work. Slightly off-target doesn't diminish its value in the least as a perfect little object lesson.
Beth LaBuff 06/11/07
I think the author may have been an artist in a former life. :) When you look at the poem is has form. Then when you read the poem, the descending stanza's fly off the tongue like you're flitting down a staircase. I think we can learn a lot from Sister Mouse's message of "Don't fear, just believe".
Verna Cole Mitchell 06/12/07
This would be perfect for junior high age. It's beautifully written--great poetry.
David Butler 06/13/07
Pure Poetry with Pathos. You have just championed the race of rhodents.
Baybe with illustrations (and the stepped stanzas which are masterly done here) this could impact older children, giving them an appreciation for poetry, as well as the humbler mammals.
David Butler 06/13/07
That's "maybe" not "baybe".
A typo, not the common cold. :)