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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Write something suitable for CHILDREN (05/31/07)

TITLE: Do You Think There'll Be Monkeys?
By David Story
06/03/07


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The yellow balloon broke through the clouds and made its way to the earth below. The two figures inside sat at the bottom of the balloon. The transparency of the balloon allowed them to watch.

And so watch they did.

Watched…and rode.

The ride suddenly took a turn as the huge balloon made its way between two crevices. The rock-like walls were filled with wonderful, bright, and fantastic colors. The two passengers stared in anxious awe as the walls became a canyon. They both looked down through the ‘glass bottom’ floor and watched as a river appeared below. At the foot of the river was a small raft. The balloon positioned itself over the raft and began to lower its way down into the canyon walls.

The balloon was just above the raft when suddenly its bottom gave way, and the two passengers fell toward the water below.

The young girl shook herself off and looked at her companion, a small black dog. The dog ran two steps and jumped into the little girl’s arms, just as the raft began to move. The girl held tightly to the dog and used her free hand to hold onto the rail at the front of the raft.

The adventure began…

-----

The raft made its way slowly down the river, and all the while the look on the girl’s face was one of amazement and joy.

There were clowns to the left of them and jugglers to the right.

A man shot out of a cannon.

More ‘acts’ appeared on each side of the river as the raft made its way through the canyon.

The girl smiled. “Do you think there’ll be monkeys?”

As soon as she asked the question, an eruption took place in the water twenty yards in front of the raft. The young girl watched as splashes in the water were followed by what looked like a gigantic fish. As the raft made its way to the fish, its mouth began to open wide, and upon seeing such a sight, so did the girl’s eyes.

She held on as tight as she possibly could to her friend, and let out a joyful scream as water splashed onto her face.

The fish opened wide and swallowed the raft…

-----

It took the girl a minute to adjust to the darkness.

She could her music playing.

A sound caused her to look up, and what she saw took her breath away. An acrobatic show like she had never seen was taking place above them.

High wires!

Tightropes!

It took a moment for the girl to make out the performers, but once she did she let out a shout that reverberated throughout the entire 'fish-cave.'

“Monkeys!”

She had never witnessed such a show in all of her life, as the monkeys swung back and forth, using each other’s arms, tails, and legs to fling them to the next trapeze.

And as quickly as it had begun, it was over. An opening appeared before them and the raft was back out on the river…

-----

Almost too exhausted to take anymore, the young girl sat crossed leg on the raft. The dog jumped into her lap, and waited with her, for whatever was next.

What was next left them both silent.

The raft made its way lazily along the river, when a sunrise began to appear on the girl’s right. The warmth of the sun filled her body as she watched the orange ball rise up and move slowly over her head. The ball made its way to the other side of the river as the girl let out a small cry, and the ball disappeared over the canyon walls.

The girl noticed that both her and her companion were completely dry.

The ride quietly came to an end as the raft found it’s way to a wooden dock stretched out over the water. Once it stopped, the girl – with doggy in hand – stepped onto dry land.

Trying to compose herself, she set the dog onto the ground below. She looked down and noticed that she was standing on some sort of yellow-colored, brick path. She followed it with her eyes until she lost sight of it through some trees.

She took a step forward.

Then another.

And another.

Finally she looked down at her little friend.

“I have no idea about this place, Toto. But I do know this…we’re not in Kansas anymore.”

Dorothy and Toto began their journey down the road…


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This article has been read 785 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Rita Garcia06/11/07
Delightful and fun! Great writing!
Jan Ackerson 06/11/07
How wonderful! A sequel to "The Wizard of Oz!" Her adventures are starting all over again...poor thing, will she ever get home? Well, she seems to be up for another exciting time.

The style and readability of this would seem to be for fairly advanced readers. Appropriate, especially for anyone who reads the originals by L. Frank Baum. But if you have a younger audience in mind, it may need to be simplified a bit.

Poor Dorothy...poor Auntie Em!
Beth LaBuff 06/11/07
This was quite an adventure. It was a cross between Alice in Wonderland and the Wizard of Oz. It had a dream-like quality. What a fun story for a child! You totally surprised me with Dorothy and Toto at the end!! Thanks!
Dee Yoder 06/12/07
I love "The Wizard of Oz" and wondered if the "bubble" held Dorothy and Toto...and here I was thinking they'd made it safely back to Kansas! Imaginative story.
Joanne Sher 06/12/07
Just delightful in every way, David. Wonderful descriptions, and you had me anxious to find out where you were going with this from beginning to end! Loved this!
Loren T. Lowery06/13/07
A blend of "The Bluebird of Happiness" and "Oz", now what child wouldn't love to read of such adventures!
Kristen Hester06/13/07
Wow. Children love fantasies and this was certainly a fantasy! The two had a quite an adventure and so did the reader.
Janice Fitzpatrick06/13/07
What an adventure. I really like your descriptions and teh way you keep the reader moving along it keeps one's attention. Nice job. I can see this with colorful illustrations. After reading this though I think I need a nap,I'm worn out with so much activity in one day,lol. God bless your writing,this is so good.Janice