The Official Writing Challenge
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Great story! I like how the mom somewhat ignores her kids' questions during the day, letting them search/discover on their own, while at night teaching an actual lesson. Quite cool.
Wow! Remarkable thoughts inserted throughout in a very creative way. The story flowed like the water they glided across in search of zeroes.:0) Well done! I co8uld see this in a movie or a beautifully designed book. I would love to do the art work for this. I love the way the mother is with her cygnets and I especially like the ending. God bless,Janice
06/07/07
Wonderful story. Very beautiful word pictures through-out.
06/07/07
Very clever! I loved the ending!
06/08/07
Lovely and sweet - great story. I think this would be wonderfully engaging for a child. Right on target!
06/08/07
What a wonderful adventure the cygnets had in this thoroughly delightful story! It made me smile, and I'm sure it will make children smile, too! Your descriptions are perfect, and I like the lesson taught,too! Great writing! :)
06/11/07
WOW! Love this clever adventure! Great writing!
I like the nonsense about the zeroes. I thin children would, too. They'd definitely need a picture for a cygnet.
Such beautiful imagery! A lovely piece of writing--great work!
06/13/07
Lovely, lovely.
This is beautiful and very well written.
I'm still thinking, "All right, where are the cows?"
06/14/07
I love reading these adventures with Jason and Jolene. My only note, is a missing quotation mark and in the second paragraph where you use "named" to introduce us to the two Cygnets, maybe it isn't necessary? Just a thought. This was fun, especially Tess who is just as calm as ever until the afternoon is over and she explains 'nothing'. Great writing!