Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Write something suitable for CHILDREN (05/31/07)

TITLE: The Little Red Car
By Verna Cole Mitchell
05/31/07


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Danny woke up one sunny day
And decided to be a car.
When Mommy called him to breakfast,
He ran on his little tire legs
And put on his brakes
With a loud “Screech.”
Danny said, “I’m a little red car
With shiny silver trim.
Beep beep, zoom zoom zoom.”
And Mommy just smiled.

When Danny went outdoors to play,
He ran behind his daddy.
Daddy was up high on the tractor
Mowing across the yard.
“Beep, beep, zoom zoom zoom,
Can you hear my horn,
And can you hear my engine roar?
I’m louder than your lawn mower,”
Danny yelled, and he was.
And Daddy just smiled.

Little Sister Susie
Was playing with her blocks
Out on the big front porch.
Danny ran all around her.
He said, “Can you hear my horn,
And can your hear my engine roar?
I’m a little red car
With shiny silver trim,
Beep beep, zoom zoom zoom.”
And Little Sister Susie just smiled.

When Mommy called Danny to lunch,
He made loud car noises on his way,
“Beep beep, zoom zoom zoom,
Roar roar roar, screech.
Little red cars don’t eat carrots,”
Danny said and pushed his plate away.
“They just each ice cream.”
In her great big voice, Mommy said,
“It is time for a nap NOW.”
And Mommy did not smile.

After Danny’s nap, he went outside
To drive his little red car.
He roared right through the flower beds,
Pushing purple and yellow pansies
Right down flat on the ground.
He raced through mud puddles
And got big brown spots on his little tire legs.
He went right between Daddy and a neighbor,
“Beep beep, zoom zoom zoom.”
And Daddy did not smile.

Danny went back in the house,
Where Little Sister Susie
Was playing with her dolls.
“Beep beep, zoom, zoom zoom,
Get out of my way,” he said.
He pushed her dolls so hard
That they fell down
Beside her on the floor.
She picked up all her dolls.
And Little Sister Susie did not smile.

That evening Daddy took Danny
On his lap to talk to him.
“Son,” he said, God loves you,
And Mommy and I love you.
We want you to be a good little boy.
When you are a little red car,
You do things that make us sad.”
“I’m sorry, Daddy,” said Danny.
“Could I be a big black truck?
BEEP BEEP, ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM!”


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 1255 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Rita Garcia06/07/07
I think a child would really enjoy this story. I could hear the "zoom zoom zoom."

A fun read!
Seema Bagai 06/08/07
Great job. Kids would enjoy hearing this read out loud.
Leigh MacKelvey06/08/07
The sound words are what makes this so good for children. the repetion is also wonderful for children to hear and adds ti their comprehension.Great job!
Janice Fitzpatrick06/08/07
I can see this in my mind and have to smile. My son was the little pistol and didn't have the ezcuse of being a "Little Red Car". He was curious as to how everything worked or what everyone was doing, often getting into trouble.Grin. This is cutely written and the repeated phrases are exactly some of the pluses for what makes a good story for young children. Well done. Janice
Joanne Sher 06/09/07
Delightful and fun for the preschool set for sure! They'd love making the sounds along with the reader. Nice message too!
Donna Howard06/11/07
Cute story. Flows well. Good message. Well written. What more can I say? Good job!
Myrna Noyes06/11/07
Cute and very realistic story that I'm sure would appeal to children! The ending is so funny! Good job! :)
Jan Ackerson 06/11/07
Very, very good! A visual piece with an endearing main character. Love it.
Loren T. Lowery06/11/07
This is oh so true and so much fun to read as well.
Great job!
Dee Yoder 06/12/07
I really enjoyed reading your story! I've known several boys who could easily fit the description of your main character, one's in my Sunday School class, in fact! Children would love reading this out loud...can you imagine the sound effects?!
Kristen Hester06/13/07
This is a perfect story for a young boy!
Christine Dunn06/13/07
Just to say thanks for the really kind words you left on my poem, Verna. When I went to read this, it was a pleasant surprise. I can certainly picture myself reading this to the 5-6 year olds in my class. They would love joining in with all the 'beep beep' and 'zoom zoom' sounds. What a great message too. Well done!
Pat Guy 06/13/07
THIS is so right on for this age! It's a perfect read for them and could easily be illustrated. Loved it!
Jacquelyn Horne06/14/07
How children love make believe.
Sara Harricharan 06/14/07
Points for realisim! The ending was just perfect when he asks to be a big black truck! I think you captured the 'essence' of a little boy just perfect! Great job!
Cheri Hardaway 06/15/07
Obviously you've had a little boy in your house! This reminded me of my son, so full of life and energy... Nice job. Blessings, Cheri
Edy T Johnson 06/16/07
I love imagining the illustrations to go along with your darling story. I'm sure this would be one that Grandma would have to "read to me" over and over again! Thank you, too, for your kind words on my story: appreciate you muchly!
Yvonne Blake 11/11/08
I love it!
I think you ought to try to sell it.