The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/31/07
Great message about true love! Your content and idea was great. I felt that it could be tightened up a bit. I felt there were a lot of stories packed into one. It may be helpful to put the letter in italics to help the reader. Also, be careful not to tell. It may be better to show the father/daughter relationship through their actions rather than narritive. Let you reader read between the lines. Your story was enlightening about the poverty and sickness in Uguanda, and you kept my attention all the way through. Thank you.
Love the symbolism and many facets woven into the story. I couldn't wait to read the next adventure the MC was to encounter in Uganda. Very intriguing story and masterfully written.
06/02/07
Nice story. She sounds like someone I would want to know, and missionary work is definitely an adventure! You also keyed in on what can be a very hard fact of life: sometimes our walk with God can generate friction between us and the people we love the most, who may just want us to keep on with the status quo.
What a heartfelt story. This is well worth reading. Good writing.
06/04/07
Wow! Great fiction writing! your details were amazing and made me want to read more! I love the life exchanged for another life part where you separated that line - really hit me. Good emotions and made me choked up - what a good story should do- involve the reader.