The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/31/07
Well-written and engaging. I think "conquer" would have worked better than "conquest" in the 2nd sentence, but overall very good.
06/04/07
Wow! Good descriptions of the struggle. I could picture it through your words.

Also a good lesson on where to focus our eyes. Sometimes life-struggles cloud our vision. Thanks.
06/06/07
Wonderful writing, and Jack's a marvelous character. I'd definitely love to read more about these two, and their back story, and what happens next. Really, really good.
Wow, very descriptive; this grabbed my attention immediately. Great story!
A truly suspenseful and memorable adventure--well written.
06/06/07
Amazingly vivid description and engaging action. Wonderful.
Very well written. I was captivated. I want to know more!
06/06/07
Wow! What an amazing journey! That was definitely an adventure. Your descriptions were so real, I especially liked Jack. How he kept pressing on in spite of it all. Gavin was a neat little guy too. Good job. This was gripping. ^_^
06/06/07
I have to admit I really liked this. I too want to know what happened before and will happen next. You have got me very interested. I hope more will come. God bless.
06/07/07
WOW! FANTASTIC! I LOVE IT!