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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Write in the ADVENTURE genre (05/24/07)

TITLE: Snips and Snails
By Betty Castleberry
05/28/07


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I didn’t like getting a note from Timmy‘s principal, but I knew when I met with Mr. Markham, everything would be fine.

I walked into his office confidently. He shook my hand. “Mrs. West, I’m glad you could come. We at Hillside Elementary appreciate a boy’s sense of adventure as much as anyone, but we need to discuss your son’s actions with you.”

I looked him in the eye. “He’s really a good boy.”

“Were you aware he stopped up a sink in the boys’ bathroom?”

“No.”

“Apparently he wasn’t interested in eating his peanut butter sandwich, so he stuffed it in the drain and turned on the faucet. Then he threw his milk money in the water and yelled ‘Harr! Sunken treasure. ‘Tis a pirate‘s life!’”

“We did just see ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’.”

“That doesn’t explain why he took up a collection for a gym membership for Miss Johnson. He claims you said she could use a few work outs.”

I prayed for the floor to swallow me.

“He asked his friends for donations, but only collected sixty cents. He snuck into the teacher’s lounge and spent it in the vending machine. Did you know that a cola poured into a volcano model can cause a violent reaction?”

I shook my head.

“Someday Timmy might have a brilliant career in pyrotechnics, but ruining a class science experiment just isn’t acceptable. I feel it’s only fair to wipe this incident off the record, though, because Timmy paid for it as much as anyone. I hope the shirt he was wearing wasn’t new.”

I did recall some odd stains on one of Timmy’s shirts.

“There’s more. The class took a field trip to the Old West Museum. Timmy climbed into the teepee at the Native American display. Miss Johnson tried to coax him out, but he refused because she didn’t know the secret password for ‘Camp Timmy.’ He came out when he noticed the bow and arrows. He took aim, but even Miss Johnson said she didn’t think he meant to release the arrow. However, if that statue had been a real outlaw, Timmy would be a hero.

“The next day he left a trail of stickers from his classroom to my office. When I asked him why he did it, he said the halls were confusing, and since he came down here often, he wanted to mark his trail. While I did have a moment of compassion for him, I’m afraid it faded when the janitors complained how difficult it was to remove the stickers. Asking Timmy to help them didn’t teach him anything. He stood on the rolling mop bucket and whizzed down the hall playing air guitar and singing “She’s my little deuce coupe, you don’t know what I got.”

I was embarrassed. “His father and I are Beach Boys fans.”

“Talented lot. Let’s get back to your son.

“Timmy isn’t a very good driver. The bucket careened into the aquarium in the main hallway, and toppled it. Mrs. Federstein just happened to be walking by. She gasped in surprise at the water pouring over her. This had some unfortunate consequences. Let’s just say she isn’t a sushi fan.”

“I’m sorry. I had no idea.”

“Yesterday was quite a day for Timmy. He challenged Jay Phillips to a duel for the hand of little Beth Wheeler. Mrs. Thomas, our playground monitor, found them wielding red crayons at each other. At some point, Timmy’s crayon made contact with Jay’s cheek, because there was a red mark on it. Mrs. Thomas thought it was blood and marched both boys into my office. Actually, Timmy was dragged in while screaming, ‘I won’t go to Snidely Whiplash’s torture chamber!’ I made the boys stay in my office until recess was over. That was a mistake, because Timmy pulled up my ivy plant and yelled, “Snake! Stand back, Ill slay it.”

While he was busy hacking at it with my letter opener, my secretary reacted to the word “snake.” She jumped out of her chair and accidentally hit a button on her keyboard. The teachers weren’t pleased to hear their entire week’s lesson plans had been deleted.

“You can see we have a problem.”

“I sincerely apologize. Timmy’s father and I will take care of this.”

I left that office as fast as I could, and ran into Timmy standing at the principal‘s door. He had an eraser stuck to his forehead. I didn’t even want to know.


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This article has been read 888 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Teri Wilson05/31/07
Oh my, I can identify with this entry all too well. My son is in high school now and just last week I got a call from the VP. It seems he was goofing around with a friend after school - he threw a stick at his friend and missed. The stick flew past his friend and went into the open car window of a teacher and hit the teacher in the head while she was driving. She was not pleased. LOL

Loved the story! Blessings, Teri
Pat Guy 05/31/07
THIS is a classic! What-a-hoot! Reminds me of my grandson! (aren't they always innocent?)

I loved the wit, the characters, and I LOVE Timmy!

Great job!
Dee Yoder 05/31/07
An adventurous boy makes for an adventurous life! Very appealing characters.
Kevin Kindrick06/01/07
I love it. I just love it. If only we could all have such an adventerous outlook on life.

Thanks for sharing, and God bless,

Kevin
Pam Carlson-Hetland06/01/07
ROFL!!! Oh, this was an adventure alright! An adventure for the child and a bigger one for the parents. Loved the story, loved the humor, could "feel" for the mother (been there, done that). And so very well written. Great job!
Lynda Schultz 06/01/07
Hilarious! Oh the adventure of being the mother of an adventurous (and imaginative) little boy. Good work.
Verna Cole Mitchell 06/01/07
Now there's a little boy who understands adventure! Clever and funny...I love your story.
Christine Rhee06/01/07
Great Friday night entertainment!! Our family got a real belly laugh out of this one!!
Dolores Stohler06/02/07
What a delightful, imaginative story and I love your Timmy! I've known a few kids like this and they all turned out well. Although they may have their parents at wits end, we can't help but love them for their creativity. Kudos to you for writing this.
dub W06/03/07
Laughing with my sore thoat was no fun, had to rush for a bowl of ice cream. What a hoot - unfortunately, I can relate to much of this (our middle son). Our son is now a psychologist working with difficult children. Thanks for the morning smile.
Venice Kichura06/04/07
I love this---very entertaining and true to life on how the parents felt.
Jan Ackerson 06/04/07
This is priceless--and it makes me thankful I had girls. A laugh in every line; thanks so much!
Joanne Sher 06/04/07
Ohhhh my! What an imagination Timmy (and YOU) have - I hope this isn't a memoir LOL. A delight to read.
Lynda Lee Schab 06/04/07
What a hoot! A completely fun and delightful laugh-out-loud piece. Bravo! :-)
Sara Harricharan 06/05/07
ROFL! This is simply too funny! Timmy is a hilarious character...and I already know a few just like him! ^_^ This was fun and interesting to read, I loved the humor and especially the bit when the mom comes out of the office and sees Timmy with the eraser stuck to his forehead. Very, very well done here! Kudos!
Janice Fitzpatrick06/05/07
Wow. This is so good. it had me in stitches, the good kind,grin.:)Your description through the dialogue was great. When they were tots and in their early to mid childhood my son and his best friend, were always so mischevious and energetic that we use to call them our"Dennis the Menaces." What one didn't think of the other would. Again, great story.Janice
Kristen Hester06/06/07
How I very much wish I could not relate this story...but I can. I loved it!
Kristen Hester06/06/07
Ooops! I meant, "I wish I couldn't relate TO the story..." Great job!
Jacquelyn Horne06/06/07
Oh, my! I've had to see the principal for mine, but never like this. I hope this is fiction. Good writing.
Loren T. Lowery06/06/07
Too funny and you can't help but love the antics and spunk of this little boy. I'd say it's an adventure for everyone all around.
Leigh MacKelvey06/06/07
I loved this story and laughed all the way through. What wit you have! Hey, girls do things like that too. In seventh grade my daughter put a paperclip in an electrical socket and shorted out the electriciy of the entire school. Excellent writing.
Rita Garcia06/07/07
Wonderful!Thanks for the great laugh!
Lenda Blackmon06/07/07
This is so funny, with five grandsons, I always wonder if anything like this will happen at their school. I think they save all the excitement for when they are at my house. lol Loved it!