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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Write in the ADVENTURE genre (05/24/07)

TITLE: Barbie Bunny Goes To The City
By Jacquelyn Horne
05/28/07


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Barbie Bunny hadn’t lived in the forest very long. In fact, she hadn’t lived very long. Her siblings and she knew only the little soft area in the roots of the large tree where they had lived, since birth, with their mother.

Barbie was not the curious type. She never ventured far from the nesting place provided by her mother. So when Barbie heard the roar of the machine, she did not know what it was or what it was going to do. She watched her siblings scatter as the huge tree that had covered their home began to fall. The large roots that had once provided safety now dangled menacingly.

Barbie was afraid. Her siblings had spread out amid the woodland grasses, and she was alone to cope with her problem. Mother was away doing what mother rabbits do to provide. Barbie was afraid to call out anyway.

Although she was not normally curious, Barbie ventured into the open to take a look at the situation. Seeing a human for the first time, she ran for cover.

Hiding in a small branch of the felled tree, Barbie felt herself being lifted. She stayed very still so she would not be discovered. At first, she was unaware of the movement of the large truck she was traveling in. She had been too scared to notice.

When, eventually, she peeped out of her shelter, everything looked strange. Where was she? Everything was quiet. The truck was not moving. Now! Thought Barbie. I must go now!

She scampered from her hiding place onto a hard, white surface. City sidewalks were not familiar to her, and she quickly hopped into a storm drain, but not before she was almost squashed by a large foot hurrying along the walkway.

Peering through the bars over the drain, Barbie saw a young man with six large animals, each on a leash. She scuttled deeper into the drain as the animals began to bark loudly, trying to get to her through the bars.

Frightened and alone, Barbie began to cry. She was far away from the comfort of her mother’s soft fur. She wanted to play games again with her brothers and sisters. She was hungry and didn’t know how to find food. It began to rain and Barbie shivered in despair.

“Why are you crying?” said a squeaky voice from farther down the sewer drain.

This was the first friendly voice Barbie had heard for a while. Although she was still afraid and lonely, she stopped crying to focus on the source of the voice.

Partially hidden behind a discarded drink cup, the squeaky little mouse inched forward to get a better glimpse of this strange creature. It was too big to be a mouse, but still not fully grown, whatever it was.

Eyeing each other quietly, both decided that although strange, their mysterious creature was friendly. They began to edge closer to one another. Each calmly resolving to run at the least sign of trouble.

Finally satisfied of the other creature’s friendliness, the mouse introduced himself. “I’m Marty Mouse,” he squeaked. “Who are you? And what are you doing here?”

“My name is Barbie Bunny,” the little ball of fur whimpered. “I’m from the woodland, but I don’t know how I got here,” she said, glancing around the damp, cluttered area.

“If you’re hungry, come home with me,” Marty Mouse squeaked.

Barbie Bunny didn’t even have to think about it. She just wriggled her wrinkled, pink nose and said, “Please, show me where you live. I could eat almost anything right now.”

Barbie followed Marty out of the sewer, through the sprinkling rain and into a large building filled with boxes and papers. Marty quickly scurried into an area behind the wall. There was not a very large opening, but Barbie was still small enough to squeeze through.

Inside, Barbie gasped! There was food galore. She hurried past the cheese and peanuts and found a nice piece of wilted lettuce, which she quickly devoured.

Tired, but no longer hungry, Barbie laid down in a corner to rest. Nodding toward dreamland, she remembered her woodland home with a great longing. But as she snuggled down onto the bare boards, she thought, Mother always said that God looks out for his creatures.

And as sleep took over she whispered, “Thank you, God, for your loving hand and for looking after me today.” Dry, full and safe, Barbie Bunny finally gave in to the stillness of slumber.

…………………………………………

Author’s note: Barbie Bunny will eventually find her way home. But word count keeps her safely in the large city building for now.


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This article has been read 740 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lisa Holloway05/31/07
Oh, don't I know how word count affects plot development! Cute note and cute story.
Sheri Gordon05/31/07
This is a very cute story -- wonderful children's adventure. (Too bad you can't use it twice -- it would be perfect for this week, too.)

I love the message, and glad to hear she gets home safely.

Nice job.
Myrna Noyes06/01/07
Cute story whose title and plot would have worked for this week's Children's Topic, too! Maybe you could write a sequel this week! :) I enjoyed reading about Barbie's adventures!
Donna Emery06/04/07
Lots of fun to read, and the last comment made me smile. How well I understand! Great job!
Marty Wellington 06/05/07
Great joy - a most enjoyable read. The adventures of Barbie Bunny - hhhmmm, I smell a sequel coming.
Joanne Sher 06/06/07
Just delightful - and I DO hope you finish her story. The author's note definitely made me smile.
Verna Cole Mitchell 06/06/07
This cute adventure could be continued very well as a children's story.
Benjamin Graber06/06/07
Cute story! This one would work for the children's story as well... :-)
Sara Harricharan 06/06/07
What an adorable children's story! I loved Barbie Bunny (Even though I am not a fan of Barbie..^_^)and I'm glad she found her way home. This was cute and fun to read. Good job.
Kristen Hester 06/06/07
I wantto read this to my children. They would love it. Very sweet.
Pat Guy 06/06/07
Just one week too soon! Oh my, what a delightful childrens story! Weel done! Possibly a part two for this week? ;)
william price06/07/07
I don't want you to have to read the word, "Cute" again, but it is what it is. Very Cute! Supertouch and pace. Loved it. God bless.
Janice Fitzpatrick06/09/07
Very well written. My six yr old would love this.Nice flow and build up of pace and action. I agree a second chapter is a must.:0) Thank you for your encouraging comments on my latest entry, a narrative semi-fiction about one of God's homely lowly creatures, submitted in beginner's. Keep up the writing. I can see this beautifully illustrated.God bless your gift.Janice
Val Clark06/11/07
A delightful tale. Very visual. Just watch out for the POV shift to the mouse. I can see littlies loving this. yeggy


   
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