The Official Writing Challenge
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I'm a little lost in this, but I sense a deep message here.
05/24/07
Whether I'm right or not, I was so moved by the symbolism here and it read to me like an alternate Song of Solomon--a journey of love and faith with the Lord. This was so visual. My only wonder is the last stanza. I almost liked the second to the last better to end on, but still, it doesn't take away. What a gem!
05/25/07
This was very touching. Glad you shared.
I liked the imagery and it flowed very smoothly. I would go back over all the verses and possibly let go of the ones that don't add to the poem. It is a strong poem , but could be stronger if you tightened it up. the meaning is deep and I liked the deepness!
05/30/07
The rhyme may be a little forced, often happens in short verses. An intesting statement, not sure where to take it.
Thanks for posting.
You have great metaphors here. The last stanza is wonderful--sums up the whole purpose of your poem, and of the difficult places of life as well.
05/30/07
So many things in life we don't understand when we look with out small human eyes. I love these lines: "Lift me up on clouds of music/Wrap me in your sweet melody/Write the lyrics on my heart..."
I sense a lot of out-pouring of honest emotions in this piece and although at times got lost in some of the metaphores, I was still able to "see" the meaning behind the words.
05/30/07
Thought provoking and well delivered.
05/30/07
Beautiful imagery.
05/30/07
I certainly agree with comments posted here already. Loved the imagery and could feel the emotion of the piece. Flowed well...even with the duplicate verse :)