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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Write in the POETRY genre (05/17/07)

TITLE: Old Slobberin' Joe II
By Cassie Memmer


Slobberin’ Joe rushed to the hotel downtown,
It’s the only location with water around.
He did what his mama told him to do,
Then paid and tipped them and bid them adieu.

Yes, Old Slobberin’ Joe took his yearly bath
Then headed for home up the mountain path,
While on the way he fell into the creek
Too slothful to move he stayed for a week.

Cold, wrinkled, and soaked, he started to shout,
“Is there anyone ‘round to help me out?”
Rabbits, squirrels, and deer came to drink
They said, “We can’t help, you’re nutty, we think.”

“Please let me explain, I am not crazy,
I live in a fog, might be a bit hazy,
Yet I try to live as my mama taught.”
But they refused to give him the help that he sought.

Two more days later a lady waltzed by,
Said, “What is the matter?” He began to cry,
“I’ve sat in this creek for nine long days,
And it’s brought me nothin’ but long delays.

“I was only a’doing what my mama said,
‘Take yer yearly bath and you’ll soon be wed,’
But on the way home from my annual cleanin’
I tumbled in here... put a stop to my preenin’

“Missed my chances to find me a wife
Destined for loneliness all of my life.”
The lady eyeballed his toothless face
Compassion welled in her heart full of grace,

The lady spied not what kept him alone,
The wild hair, whiskers, overalls he’d outgrown,
Drab eyes, big ears, and snout like a pig,
She leaned ever closer and... slipped on a twig.

The lady named Homely landed near Joe
Looked up in his dull eyes, said, “Please be my beau?”
Mama’s advice, after fifty years worked
He’d landed a bride in the creek where he’d lurked!

They chose then to stay at their meeting place
For Joe’s dirty old shack was quite a disgrace.
They built a lean-to at the water’s edge
And there they married and gave their pledge.

Five years later Old Homely and Joe
Had five tykes, ugly, from head to toe.
But one thing Joe taught them, you can be sure,
A bath every year will give you allure.

Down by the creek, thirty years passed,
Five shanties arose, each worse than the last.
Old Homely and Joe’s urchins now grown
Were looking for spouses to not be alone.

So they always did what their papa said,
Went to the hotel, the year’s dirt to shed,
By renting soap and water and tub
And with a sponge they began to scrub.

Hoping the bath would help them to find
A spouse who is lovely and very refined
Just like Ma Homely and Papa Joe
Who found true love after a bath years ago.

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This article has been read 1701 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Pat Guy 05/24/07
Soooo intertaining and refreshing! Wow - this is good!
Helen Paynter05/24/07
What a fun, original piece! I'm glad they got out of the water eventually - I had a feeling they were going to stay there together! From the title I'm thinking I must have missed the first installment, but it stood well alone.
Janice Fitzpatrick05/24/07
What a clever idea! Wow! I love this one! Great job!I just have two questions. Did they ever strike oil or vacation in Beverly Hills?LOL.Keep up the great work. This made my day. Now, I have to soak in the creek, so if you'll excuse me, I am grabbin da soap and hikin' up my oer'alls...g'by.:0)GRIN!!Janice
Jacquelyn Horne05/24/07
This is really cute. You must not be new to poetry. Good job.
Dixie Phillips05/24/07
What a great sense of humor! I agree.... this isn't your first rodeo with poetry!
william price05/24/07
Very enjoyable and entertaining. God bless.
Maxx .05/24/07
too funny ... and I think I know those people! ;-) Excellent work and very very strong grasp of the English language.
Rhonda Clark05/25/07
This is cute. I like the "yearly bath." Too funny.
Loren T. Lowery05/25/07
Break out the fiddle, washtub and start tapping your toes - I think I hear a real hillbilly tune hidden in this entertaining piece!
Marilee Alvey05/28/07
This is great! Amazing job with all the rhyme, too. Original and creative! It should stand out in a crowd, for sure! Great job!
Jan Ackerson 05/28/07
Clever and cute..and, ummm, ewwwww.
Dee Yoder 05/29/07
As soon as I saw the title, I couldn't wait to read this and I was not disappointed! Unique and clever.
David Butler05/29/07
Gosh, Dang it! Ah got me a knee-slappin',back-thumpin', sahd-splittin', floor-rollin' good laff outa this! Good rhymin' too.
Betty Castleberry05/29/07
What a great voice this piece has. It's entertaining and fun, too. Big thumbs up.
Leigh MacKelvey05/29/07
Oh my! this was truly entertaining and clever, clever, clever! Kudos!
Benjamin Graber05/29/07
This one is hilarious... :D
Verna Cole Mitchell 05/29/07
Thanks for a delightful poem! I believe it truly could be sung accompanied by a fiddle!
Joanne Sher 05/29/07
Just delightful and fun. I had a giggle in my throat through the whole thing. Great stuff, Cassie!
Rita Garcia05/30/07
WOW! WOW! WOW! Love it!
Caitlynn Lowe05/30/07
Wonderful! A nice little tale, and it flowed very well. Overall a very enjoyable read.
Pat Guy 05/31/07
Woohoo Cassie Girl! One of my favies! I'm so glad it got first! Enjoy the clouds today. Congratulations! Love,
Sheri Gordon05/31/07
Congratulations. This is really fun to read. Great imagination, and imagery.