The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/24/07
Oh, this made my heart hurt for this couple. Awesome use of words, I could see it in my minds eye so well. Bravo!
Lenda
Pat Guy  
05/24/07
Beautifully heartbreaking and so poignant. (I think I know)

It reads easy, then then that means it wasn't easy to create.

Beautiful.
05/24/07
Beautiful poetry. It flowed so well and the rhythm, the meter and the message remained intact.
05/24/07
A contender indeed!
05/24/07
most excellent. very powerful and filled with such depth and meaning. good job!
05/24/07
This was so beautifully written. You did an awesome job writing this!
05/25/07
Oh! How heartbreaking! What a wonderful account of love in poetry form.
05/25/07
So sad, but so beautifully told. The emotions so exposed - great job!
05/26/07
WOW- what else can be said? you captured it all!
05/27/07
So heart-wrenching. This is a wonderful story of love. Good job.
05/27/07
Amen to all comments above!
This was a pleasure to read.
05/28/07
Beautiful, haunting, painful. Well written, with insight into the one 'left.' I'm glad she responded to the Word! The spark of life/Jesus was still in her! Great writing.
05/28/07
Oh, so tender and poignant!

If I were to offer any suggestion, it would be to change the title. To me, "shattered" implies something that happened in an instant, with great force, while this disease has robbed them slowly and relentlessly.

The poem itself is so very lovely and sweet.
05/28/07
So, So GOOD. Touched my heart greatly. Bless you.
05/29/07
You captured the feelings I have exactly when I go to see my Dad who has Alzheimer's Disease. Thank you for reminding me that God can still touch my Dad's soul, even when I can't seem to.
05/29/07
This is a wonderfully written poem that flowed beautifully, but it told such a bittersweet story! Excellent job! :)
05/29/07
I am thinking this is about Alzheimer's disease, but am not sure. I like that you didn't "name" the problem. This was heartbreakingly wonderful! I enjoyed every line.
05/29/07
This is so poignantly beautiful. Excellent poetry!
05/29/07
Painful poem, but beautiful. Excellent job expressing the struggle this man was going through.
I would suggest that you add punctuation, which can help to make a poem easier to read and comprehend.
Keep up the good work!
05/29/07
The second-to-last stanza is amazing! Loved the whole thing, but that one stanza was wonderful. Excellent work.
05/29/07
Heartbreaking and emotional; great job.

The only critique would be that in some spots the rhythm was a bit off, but nothing major to take away from the loveliness of the poem.
05/29/07
WoW. Very powerful, emotionally stirring, a vivid picture portrayed. The rhythm and flow were quite smooth. Great job!
05/30/07
Amazing, touching and well written!
05/30/07
This is just so lovely and heart-wrenching. I've seen this scene many times. You depicted it so well. Thanks for sharing it
05/30/07
Well presented, good depth, and the meaning rang through. Nice. I really liked this. Missed it on my first read through.
05/30/07
This is so touching (which accounts for the big lump in my throat) and very well-written. Thanks for sharing it.
05/30/07
Wow. I could see it and I'm still feeling it. Exceptionally well done. Heartbreaking because it's so true.
05/31/07
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!
05/31/07
Wonderfully written! Your piece brought tears to my eyes. This broke my heart and brought poignant memories as I remember my own "dad" and what we went through as Altzheimer's then pneumonia took him away from us. I rejoice in knowing though that we will meet again one day in a better place, and he will be whole,something he never seemed to be in this lifetime. Keep up the marvelous writing hon. Lord bless you and your gift of writing!Janice
Pat Guy  
05/31/07
Congratulation Miss Birdie Betty! This is an AWESOME piece and is so deserving! Woohoo!

Love,
Pat
05/31/07
Oh, this is wonderful. I'm swallowing a major lump in my throat.

Good job -- congratulations.