Home Read What's New Join
My Account Login

Read Our Devotional             2016 Opportunities to be Published             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge



how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level


submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners

Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.



how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Write in the POETRY genre (05/17/07)

TITLE: The Dance
By Marilee Alvey


Dancing around in her private ballet
My precious daughter sings.
Watching her joy bubble out through her toes
Godís spirit in me rings.

Can I remember to bottle this peace
As storms around me swirl?
Heaven sent gift in a package so sweet
Wrapped in a little girl.

Years do pass by as a bird on the wing
Our troubles quickly mount
Precious can no longer take in that beat
Othersí opinions count.

When did I lose her attention, her ear?
Satan got in the way.
Why canít I pry her from those toxic friends?
I donít have any say.

When did the pink tulle give way to black shroud
Metals in nose and ear?
Twirling in raves, being drunk in the street
Baby is lost, I fear.

Every night I spend talking to God
Begging and pleading my case
Oh, for the want of my beautiful girl
Steeped in ribbons and lace.

Who took the peace I held close to my heart?
Tracks of tears etch my face
Where is my God as I watch this disgrace?
Satanís taken His place.

This precious child will not sink any more
God, donít ask me to see.
Take out my eyes, leave me dead on the floor
Please donít take her, take me.

Hospital calls, my heart in my throat
I run to see my girl,
Laid out like some tiny black baby bird
I softly touch one curl.

Pumping her stomach, they say she despaired
Why would she take her life?
Could she need someone to see what she canít?
Weíd only spoken of strife.

Iíll be her eyes, Lord, until she can see
She can just borrow mine.
Thank you for leaving my vision for me
Iíll no longer resign.

How did you know, Lord, a mentor thereíd be
Talking about your plan?
Clever of you, merging doctor and friend
Out of a godly man!

Ribbons and lace, down the church aisle she comes
Stopping short of that man.
Paying me back for those hours in Hell
Just a simple kiss can.

Whatís that I see peeking out from her dress?
My joy is back, full force
Can I believe what I suddenly see?
Her ballet shoes, of course!

The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.

This article has been read 1095 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Birdie Courtright05/24/07
I'm blinking back the tears. This is so real and moving...and the hope that springs eternal! I love the ballet shoes peeking out from under her dress. Well done!
Seema Bagai 05/24/07
Beautifully written. A good reminder to keep praying for those we may think are "lost".
Dixie Phillips05/24/07
What a beautiful poem of HOPE!!! God has given you an "inspirational" bent. Thanks for blessing us!
Maxx .05/24/07
very good ... and what a real message! This really reads well and has meaning. great!
Cassie Memmer05/24/07
Beautiful! I'm so thankful the pain returned to joy and offered hope. This is a wonderful poem and I'm sure God has a place for it to be used to minister to others. Don't let it sit, but find that place. Let it be a blessing to the world.
Sharlyn Guthrie05/24/07
You have captured the emotions so well. Excellent!
Mo 05/24/07
I like the ending.
Myrna Noyes05/25/07
Lovely, touching poem! My favorite line is "Watching her joy bubble out through her toes." Perfect description! I liked the happy, hope-filled ending, too! :)
Al Boyce05/25/07
Excellent 30,000-foot view of a parental roller-coaster ride, with a great upbeat ending. Just a few tweaks in the meter and rhyme scheme and this would really shine!
Rhonda Clark05/26/07
This is awesome. This hits close to home without the happy ending. You have described so many. Very good work.
Jacquelyn Horne05/27/07
Very dramatic and well written, heartfelt poem.
Leigh MacKelvey05/27/07
Those of us with daughters feel the clutch in our hearts as we read this! You captured every mother's emotions and love and willingness to sacrifice for our daughters.
Jan Ackerson 06/27/07
Marilee, I'm going to feature this wonderful poem in the Front Page showcase for the week of July 16th. Look for it on the FW home page. Great job!
Anne Linington07/16/07
This is a wondefully encouraging piece for all despairing parents- congratulations for being so open
Sara Harricharan 07/16/07
Simply beautiful! This just glows right now! Heartfelt and stirring! Well done! (I especially love the touch of the ballet shoes!)
Joanne Sher 07/17/07
Wonderful, sweet Marilee. This tore at my heartstrings. Glad you got the showcase - can't believe I missed it the first time around!
Jacquelyn Horne07/19/07
This is so impacting. What a wonderful poem on the heartbreak of a mother when her child goes astray. Loved the end.
Valora Otis07/19/07
You have such a gift. My heart was breaking for the mother and I was so grateful when I read the end. Beautiful job!
Julie Ruspoli07/19/07
Oh how touching. It had my daughter and I in tears. We were so releived it had a happy ending. Great job of describing what happens in a young persons life to draw them from God. Wonderful poem.
Kristen Hester07/20/07
Oh this is so good. I saw your poem on the home page and had to finish reading it. I could picture your daughter and the journey of parenthood. Since my girls are still young, it was a little frightening. But you stayed on your knees and there was a happy ending. Thanks!
Suellen Fry07/22/07
I too have a daughter. She has lost herself along the way. So all I can do is go to my prayer closet. When I read this I cried and found a new bit of hope. Thanks for sharing such a beautiful poem!
Ginnylynn Rodriguez07/22/07
I believe so many of us can relate to your emotions in this masterfully written poem. Thank you also for providing the encouragement we all so desperately need through the Lord.