The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/19/07
This is so visual it is almost tactile. Excellent.
05/21/07
Wonderful word choices, an excellent example of free verse done right. Even though it's free, there is a rhythm and a flow to it.

Be careful of then / than in the 2nd stanza.

I absolutely love the last line--the timing is perfect; just when the reader (and the narrator) is at the peak of despair--hope.
05/21/07
Very descriptive. Vivid imagery, etc. I think I missed the sci-fi point in it though, otherwise, it was pretty interesting to read.
Very vivid, well worded work.

05/21/07
I love your work whether the topic is subtle or strong.

Beutifully deep and wonderfully visual.
05/22/07
Wonderful imagery. Very rich in description.
05/23/07
Very well written...I liked this alot!!
This is a poem to reread and to think about. The imagery is excellent and the ending superb.
A raw look at sin. I, too, missed the sci-fi, but the discriptions are veyr strong. Good job.
I think this is great! I really love the depth of description.
My only thought for critique is that the salvation of hope is so brief it feels a bit unreal; I would suggest adding more imagery on the side of hope.
Keep up the good work!