The Official Writing Challenge
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05/17/07
Good family dynamics :) and they sounded authentic -good job!
Very on topic and cute. I think I missed a little something of the lesson she learned, but otherwise great job!
Hehe. Life Search...food court. This was charming. So typical of a teen, too. Well done.
05/21/07
Your voice is spot-on, and I love how you incorporated the technology so well into the story. A fun read.
05/21/07
This would be great for a teen or pre-teen book concept. You're spot on with your authentic voices and situations.

Ordinarily I'd comment on exclamation point use, but they work here, because of the younger tone of the overall story.

This was a great fun read!
Teen of the future. How scary! Mom's beware. Good writing here.
05/21/07
You mean teens won't be much different in the future, still very single-focused when the focus is on something they want very much?

I didn't completely understand why her mother and father were so upset with her. But I totally identified with Shacia's excitement. . .I have a teen of my own, after all.

Great job capturing those emotions.
05/21/07
What a great imagination! You sure captured life with a teenager! --some things just never change, do they?
05/21/07
neat! I thought this was pretty good. The dialouge was really good, especially the convo between her parents and her. I like the name and the title. It sounds like there's more to the story though...any chance of ever finishing it? ^_^ lol. Good job!
What a great story. I can't add much to what has already been said. The conversation and setting was perfect. And I love the idea of an intact family unit at some space-age time. Good job. Excellent writing.
Excellent writing. I really enjoyed the read.
05/21/07
I thought this was smart and intelligent. Very good and beyond interesting and creative. God bless.
05/21/07
Considering your week...I'm pretty amazed you even managed to write something :)and this is probably a reflection of the attitudes going on in the house right now :)Very realistic, in spite of all of the futuristic gadgets. So what doe she do if Yoma turns out to be a total dweeb???
A very interesting story--just goes to show that no matter the change in technology, teen-agers' attitudes remain the same!
05/23/07
This is sooo good! One of my favorites!
05/23/07
Well done. I liked the "bounce" of this story. Well Written.
05/23/07
Cute and creative story with a nice smattering of "futuristic technology talk"! :) You don't say, but I am wondering if Yoma is a boy and there is a future romance here. I really enjoyed this well-written tale! :) Good job!