The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/18/07
Great descriptions here, and a wonderful message as well. Good job!
05/20/07
Wowsers! Only one comment on this? WHY? This is very awesome. I love the hidden analogies and the vivid descriptions. This was like a sci-fi re-telling of the Pilgrim's Progress to me. Loved it! Keep up the great work!
05/22/07
This was pretty good. I wasn't quite sure where it was going at first, but I like how you drew it out a bit. It sounded a little cliche in conflict, but you managed to even it out with a robot bird and the common sense dialouge between them Good job. ^_^
05/22/07
What a good story! You worked the flash-back in very smoothly, seamlessly. I loved when Spirit reminded him that smoke rises--excellent. What a great reminder for us! :-)
05/23/07
Very good desciptive writing. Thanks.
What a gem of a story! I loved the line "If you're going to see the light, you're going to have to get on your knees." You did a great job with this.
05/28/07
Your gift for writing flows through like a ray of sunshine. I really enjoy your style.
This is a very good beginning to a longer story. It's interesting and leaves the reader wanting more. Winners don't always show up at EC or even entry levels. This should be expanded.
06/25/07
This is beautiful - and I agree that it would be WONDERFUL to expand into novel length. So many ways to go with it!
I never go to the science fiction section to select a book, but I would for this one. I've already noted that it's excellent. Keep it going.
Captivating! How did you ever come up with this? I'm definitely impressed.
06/26/07
Though I don't read science fiction much anymore, this held my interest from the start to the end and I want to find out what happens next!
I really liked the analogy ...if you are to see the light, you must get down on your knees. If the story continued with this kind of thought provoking dialogue, I would definitely read on.
06/26/07
I rarely read sci-fi, but I enjoyed this. I was left wondering, where was the smoke coming from? Where did the robotic bird come from? Who are the people of Gardona? You have intrigued this reader. You've written a very nice piece. Let me know when you have the next segment ready! :)