The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/25/05
Very nice story. I enjoyed reading this.

Kathy
01/26/05
I appreciated this so much - we are in the midst of "trying" on vehicles, and I didn't realise how pushy these sales people can be! Well written article.
I got a kick out of this story. I liked the message in it, too. God bless you.
01/29/05
Hyundai's are much better cars nowadays. Have an Elantra myself, and have no complaints at all, and its been over two years now...

As for the nuts and bolts of the piece itself, it meanders at the end, and then fizzles...it needs a stronger finish to help tie the piece up better, and keep it on topic. Also, consider alternatives for the words "luscious" and "grazed." Neither fits well as presented.

Other than that, I enjoyed reading it, and I'm glad you posted it.