The Official Writing Challenge
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Wow! I feel kinda dumb saying this but I don't really know what's happening in the story...but I like it! It reads just like one of those new 'Outer Limits' episodes. I especially enjoyed the ending; very, very sci-fi.

I guess the solar wide web is like the WWW except for the whole solar system? Or...galaxy? My puzzler hurts. :-)

But I really, really like this. You had a lot to say with so few words so if you expand it you could go into greater depth as to what the SWW is. Excellent job!
Hmmm, I think I understand, at least some. There is a system that kinda controlled everyone, but it went bad or something, so the MC took it away. Lots I don't quite understand, though, but I agree that it's still a cool story, hehehe.
05/18/07
Oh, I like it - love the way you built up the tension through the first 5/6 of the piece. One minor niggle, if the room was sound-proofed, how did he hear the door opening? But that's tiny, and I think this was a very interesting piece - raises lots of interesting speculation in my mind. Good job!
Great build-up of suspense here--well plotted--a good story
05/18/07
FANTASTIC! I loved this on so many levels!! While tech. advancement is wonderful...is it possible for it to advance too fast?
05/18/07
I can see this one on the Sci Fi channel, it plays out very well. Great work!
I loved this. The atmospheric build up was great. I especially liked the tone of the piece, and the attitude of the character who was preparing to engage with the computer ... it read very much like "real" SciFi.

I also agree with the reviewer who thought the ending was real SF. Personally, I think I would have liked to have greater insight into the importance of the SWW for them ... quite
why were they so stunned - emotionless. ... But the ambiguity ... how fertile for thoughts!! Hmmm ...

Helen always picks me up on my titles - like this one, I
tend to pick fairly straight-forward ones. Helen tends to mock my attempts ... "In which the character blah blah" etc. Not that either of us is that bad!!! I think an exciting piece like this,
however, could have had a clever title.

I must say I do sympathise with your characters who lost their computer network, I was away from the Web over the weekend and that was bad enough!!!
05/21/07
I love it--but it caused a panic attack. NO WEB??????

...just means you've been very successful as a writer, making your reader see the whole back story without narrating a whole summary for us. Skillful, deft writing.
05/22/07
Ooo! Wow. This is really great! You kept a good balance of intrigue and suspense and I loved the part that his dad was human and his mom was an alien. Definite plus for sci-fi! The only thing I noticed was a typo, I think it should be 'hitting his head' and not 'hit his head'. Correct? Otherwise, very well done. I think you got sci-fi down pat. ^_^
05/23/07
Good job of creating that sense of place. Very engaging and thought-provoking.
05/23/07
Witten like a true master of the genre. Great skill and story telling. God bless.
05/23/07
Cool - Maybe it was just me, but I heard HAL's voice lol. Nicely done.