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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Write in the HISTORICAL genre (05/03/07)

TITLE: A Murdered Black Seed
By Henry Clemmons
05/09/07


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Voices, loud, raspy, angry
Hurl through the air
Like cannonballs
Red with hate
Armed with
Death
Aimed at
Me
A poor black man
Cracked skin
Dark, indented
Circles
Pulling on
Brown faded
Eyes
Brimmin’
With tears
Flowin’
Down
Drippin' from
A large
Knotted
Nose
Shadowin’ a
Bristly black
Mustache
That twitches
Along with
My swollen
Upper lip
Leakin’ blood
Slowly from
It’s right corner
Split
From a brick
Thrown from
The darkness
Of pale faces
Formin’ a sea
Stirred in storm
white capped
Wind whipped
Surf crashing
Hostile
It’s waves
Mixin’ with
My stolen
Blood
Seems to
Feed the
Frenzy of
A murderous
High tide
Rushin’ in
‘round my
Swollen ankles
Tired from
Workin’
Sunset to
Sunrise
Buildin’ a church
White paint
Cross
Windows
Some pews
The first
In my Parrish
A free
Black preacher
With a license
To call
On God
Whom I
Pray to
Forgive those
Who just
Put a rope
Round my
Blackened
Scarred neck
And pullin’ me
Up off
My blistered
White bottomed
Feet
Toenails long
Twitch as I
Hang
Prayin’
That the second church
With a
Licensed black
Preacher
Can at least
Share the
Word with
Fellow
Freed men
And pray
For those
Still bound in
Satan’s hate
I’m comin’
Jesus
Amen.


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This article has been read 662 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Christine Dunn05/12/07
I enjoyed the sharp, short phrases which gave a clear picture of the MC in your poem, and the abuse he had experienced. Some very good descriptions.

I'm certainly not an expert in poetry, so perhaps I'm wrong - but I felt that the poem could have been broken up a little, perhaps into two or three verses, to make it a bit easier to read.
Patty Wysong05/14/07
Gripping. Descriptive. So sad. You accomplished what you set out to do. The injustice of it makes me want to scream. well done.
Terry R A Eissfeldt 05/14/07
Encore! More! This is what I call Faith Writing. Thanks for taking on a very dark time in history and ripping the reader back there in 5 words or less.
Joanne Sher 05/14/07
Haunting - such stark imagery and truth here.
Jan Ackerson 05/14/07
Beautiful poem, the breakless structure works, the ending is heartbreaking--really, really excellent.

"It's" always means "it is." There were two instances where I think you wanted "its" without an apostrophe. Sorry about the nitpick.

This is an exemplar of free verse poetry!
Rita Garcia05/16/07
WOW! You evoked such strong emotions! Perfect in every way!
Jacquelyn Horne05/17/07
Very poignant. Very on target.