The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
05/10/07
I loved this story! The setting and characters came alive through both the vivid descriptions and colorful dialogue (and dialect). I felt as though I were right there and knew them and was feeling with the main character.

Great message, too--one I could relate to and learn from! The creative title also sparked my curiosity and turned out perfect for this story. Great job!
05/10/07
Very good message. The dialogue was perfect.
05/10/07
You did a great job with the accents! (I just love accents; they add so much to a story...)

I felt that this could have been polished up a bit, but the storyline was great. Makes me think of that verse in Titus 2 about the older women teaching the younger women to love and honor their husbands, be good keepers at home, etc. I really liked the whole berries, stars, mud anology, too!
I loved the 'voices' in this. I could relate to Callie so well.
What a lesson! It applies to everyone, in every era throughout history.
This is one of the best stories I've read so far. It is entertaining, and has a great voice, too. I love the lesson that is being passed on from generation to generation. Thumbs up!
05/11/07
Wonderful writing! I enjoyed the authentic-feeling dialogue, but more than that, you deftly built Callie's and Ida's relationship in so few words. Nicely done!
GREAT story. The dialogue was outstanding and really brought the characters to life.
05/13/07
Great action and dialogue and EVERYTHING. Excellent job on the characterization.
05/13/07
Wonderful, I too enjoyed the generational message! Fantastic writing all the way around!
05/14/07
A gem indeed! I like the pace of this and Callie's interaction with Ida Mae. Very nice and a cute touch with the story of the prison bars. The last line was good though, berries for stars. Nice job!
05/14/07
What I liked most about this is that you didn't try to tell the whole story of Callie and Lem, but just one small moment. Lovely.
Very nice message and story. Well done!
05/14/07
Great story! I loved the conflict and the resolution. You portrayed all the characters so well, including Callie's frustration. :)
Very creative writing with a nice balance of descriptive dialogue. I enjoyed this selection.
05/15/07
Great story, good message, nice dialogue. Food for thought for all times. Nice work.
05/15/07
Great title, dialogue/dialect and flat out great story!
Great story. great dialogue. You did a very good job with this.
Good story. Well written.
05/16/07
Very nice! I enjoyed reading this
05/16/07
This was great. I could certainly feel the anger in her voice. We don't always get what's promised to us in relationships but we always make the best of it.
05/16/07
Loved Ida Mae's dialect. When you mentioned the brambles and berry bucket, I thought of blackberries and how much the brambles tear at the skin. You made me hungry for blackberry pie or jam.

I got a little confused in the first paragraph, thinking that the reason Callie had a towel around her was to escape a burning cabin. Then I realized that she only wished it.

Good message at the end. I think I would have liked Ida Mae as a neighbor and a mentor.
05/16/07
Super story and super lesson too. Well done.
This was a good story. I liked the growth in your character and how you showed it.