The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
05/10/07
I loved this story! The setting and characters came alive through both the vivid descriptions and colorful dialogue (and dialect). I felt as though I were right there and knew them and was feeling with the main character.

Great message, too--one I could relate to and learn from! The creative title also sparked my curiosity and turned out perfect for this story. Great job!
05/10/07
Very good message. The dialogue was perfect.
05/10/07
You did a great job with the accents! (I just love accents; they add so much to a story...)

I felt that this could have been polished up a bit, but the storyline was great. Makes me think of that verse in Titus 2 about the older women teaching the younger women to love and honor their husbands, be good keepers at home, etc. I really liked the whole berries, stars, mud anology, too!
05/10/07
I loved the 'voices' in this. I could relate to Callie so well.
What a lesson! It applies to everyone, in every era throughout history.
05/10/07
This is one of the best stories I've read so far. It is entertaining, and has a great voice, too. I love the lesson that is being passed on from generation to generation. Thumbs up!
05/11/07
Wonderful writing! I enjoyed the authentic-feeling dialogue, but more than that, you deftly built Callie's and Ida's relationship in so few words. Nicely done!
05/11/07
GREAT story. The dialogue was outstanding and really brought the characters to life.
05/13/07
Great action and dialogue and EVERYTHING. Excellent job on the characterization.
05/13/07
Wonderful, I too enjoyed the generational message! Fantastic writing all the way around!
05/14/07
A gem indeed! I like the pace of this and Callie's interaction with Ida Mae. Very nice and a cute touch with the story of the prison bars. The last line was good though, berries for stars. Nice job!
05/14/07
What I liked most about this is that you didn't try to tell the whole story of Callie and Lem, but just one small moment. Lovely.
05/14/07
Very nice message and story. Well done!
05/14/07
Great story! I loved the conflict and the resolution. You portrayed all the characters so well, including Callie's frustration. :)
05/14/07
Very creative writing with a nice balance of descriptive dialogue. I enjoyed this selection.
05/15/07
Great story, good message, nice dialogue. Food for thought for all times. Nice work.
05/15/07
Great title, dialogue/dialect and flat out great story!
05/15/07
Great story. great dialogue. You did a very good job with this.
05/16/07
Good story. Well written.
05/16/07
Very nice! I enjoyed reading this
05/16/07
This was great. I could certainly feel the anger in her voice. We don't always get what's promised to us in relationships but we always make the best of it.
05/16/07
Loved Ida Mae's dialect. When you mentioned the brambles and berry bucket, I thought of blackberries and how much the brambles tear at the skin. You made me hungry for blackberry pie or jam.

I got a little confused in the first paragraph, thinking that the reason Callie had a towel around her was to escape a burning cabin. Then I realized that she only wished it.

Good message at the end. I think I would have liked Ida Mae as a neighbor and a mentor.
05/16/07
Super story and super lesson too. Well done.
05/18/07
This was a good story. I liked the growth in your character and how you showed it.