The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/11/07
Hauntingly beautiful description, I suppose the proper language was to indicate a past era, otherwise there is no clear historic distinction. The descriptions were near perfect, and with dialogue to change the text to action I think this could go far. I enjoyed reading the essay.
05/12/07
Excellent job with "showing, not telling"! I do agree that it doesn't seem to very historical, but I thought it was wonderful all the same! It has a haunting ring to it that just sends chills down my spine. Keep up the great work!
05/15/07
There is a sense of a past era, but I agree that the reader might need a bit more of a clue to place this in a historical setting. But the description is wonderful - I was with you all the way. Well done.