The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
Loved how you brought out God planting seed snd the enemy weeds.
Written with much conviction!
04/26/05
You paint a convincing picture childhood, bringing us to the 'moral' gently and without undue bludgeoning. Do watch out for runaway sentences like 'Here in the country she ...' With a strict word count to work to you could tighten up sentences like: 'In front of her she could see the bobbing heads.’ You don't really need to say she could see, 'cos we already know she's looking around. Watch out for typos like 'it's' only use it's when you are joining together it and is. And you left out a word at the beginning between she and smell. But you've probably re read your work and already gone doh! Looking forward to reading more of your work.
04/26/05
Very vivid descriptions. Thank you. Nice writing!
04/27/05
I enjoyed reading this. It gives a sense of how times of such crisis in history shape and form the lives of people.
I enjoyed the bright discriptions!
05/03/05
Nicely done Melanie. Great imagery.