The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
04/27/07
This sounds like a true read from a post WWII diary. Words like nifty, events like the radio shows gave it an authentic feel. Grammar is not my strength but I think there were two verbs that came off as passive that could use some tweaking. I'm definitely not the expert on that, so don't quote me. This was a sweet read, I disappeared right with the not to be Mrs. Major Burke! Good job!
Ooooh! This takes me way back to my childhood; I'm of that generation, too. I love this story. Young girls with crushes were common then; girls are much too bold today.
04/29/07
Absolutely delightful! Who doesn't like to peek into an old diary. What stories could be written. This sounds like a winner to me :)
I think you captured the romatic heart of a pre-teen perfectly. Great job of writing.
Really cute! Good job of capturing a 12-year-old's crush on her teacher. I could really feel her embarrassment and tried to hide in the knothole with her.