The Official Writing Challenge
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04/26/07
How sweet! Though I couldn't help but feel a little sorry for Harvey. I loved the foreshadowing you did with Ellie's response to Neil. It let me know what was most likely coming, but I still felt the emotional impact when I realized she had indeed married Harvey's brother. Nice job! Blessings, Cheri
04/27/07
You definitely captured chemistry between Ellie and Neil. I loved the descriptions you gave with Ellie getting ready, oh how I relate to those days!
04/28/07
Very nicely written story -- perfect romance genre.

Small typo -- should have been "couldn't" rather than "could" in the paragraph about comparing the brothers.

I do feel sorry for Harvey, though -- what an understanding brother.

Great job.
04/29/07
Good job! You captured Ellie's feelings so well. I really like this! :-)
04/29/07
Your characterization of these "young adults" is so authentic. A delightful story of young love that left me with a smile!
04/29/07
Funny last line & nice story!
Very entertaining and well written. I was a little bit confused as to the time period, though. At first, I thought it was long ago, but then decided it probably wasn't. Maybe just a little clarification with that?
Love the twist at the end. I also like the fact that you've pointed out what it means to truly love your brother.
05/02/07
Nice story! All the better because it's based on a true event. Poor Harvey! But love wins out. I'm sure he found his true love also. Delightful! I enjoyed it.
05/02/07
I also felt sorry for poor Harvey - and I love that this was a true story! Great detail and description.
When love bites..... I'm glad Harvey was not hurt here. Love will out. Of course, if you had more space, a little conflict between Harvey and Neil might have been fun.
Brought back some fond memories of my daughter's first date - good job showing the emotions and the quick, unecpected turns that love can bring.
05/02/07
Neil was the perfect fit! I like how you captured the few awkward moments between the parent's scrutiny and the older brother 'chaperone'. Very well done! ^_^
05/02/07
I really enjoyed reading this! I did figure at the beginning that she was going to fall for Neil! It is so intriguing to me how one man can melt your heart while other equally nice, attractive men just don't have the right "spark"! Good job! :)
Nothing better than a "real" romance. You did a great job with this.
05/02/07
You keep getting better each time I check in on you. Super job, kiddo. You had me feeling sorry for the boy and I used to do the same thing. God bless.
05/03/07
***Congratulations on your Highly Commended!***
Woo, Woo, Cat! great job and great to see in the placings once again!
05/03/07
Congratulations on being highly commended! Great job! Cheri
I like how scrutinising the father was watching his daughter with Harvey. Very true, my Dad watches me like a hawk with my boyfriend.
Harvey's congratulations at the end when Neil kissed her was the best ending and showed there were no left over feelings in him for her.
The writing style flowed great even though there were a few scene changes something I find hard in my own writing.