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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Write in the ROMANCE genre (04/19/07)

TITLE: 5,113 Days, Give or Take a Few.
By Allison Egley
04/25/07


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“I’ll be the first to admit it. I’ve made some mistakes in my life. I stole my own brother’s birthright and blessing. I’m not exactly proud of it. My mom sent me away for my own protection. She told me to go to her brother’s house. She told me to get married too. Married? I’m not ready for that. Maybe some day though. I went off to my uncle’s land. While I was walking, I saw some shepherds with their sheep gathering around a well.

“Where are you from,” I asked.

“We are from Haran,” one of them said.

“Do you know Laban?”

“Yes. He is doing well. In fact, his daughter, Rachel, will be coming with the sheep soon.”

“Why don’t you go water and pasture your sheep?” I asked. He explained to me the procedure for removing the large stone on the well, but I wasn’t listening. I saw Rachel, and I just stared. She was beautiful! I left the men, walked over to the well, and removed the stone. Everyone was staring at me. I suppose lifting that stone is normally a two person job.

“Hi there, Beautiful,” I said, as I kissed Rachel.

“Who are you, and what are you doing to me?”

“I’m your father’s sister’s son,” I said, trying to disguise our blood ties a bit.

“Well, why didn’t you say so? I’m sure my father will let you stay with us.”

“I’d be delighted.”

Suddenly, Laban saw me and kissed me. He insisted I work for him.
“Jacob, what would you like for your wages?”
“Well,” I said, as my face turned crimson, “I’d like Rachel’s hand in marriage, if it’s not to much to ask.... I mean, I know we just met and all...”
“Consider it done! I’d say seven years is a fair trade for my daughter."

Now, let me tell you, it wasn’t easy working for Labon all those years, but looking at Rachel every day made it worth it. I’d stare at her, she’d stare at me. It was love at first sight. Well, at least it was for me. I think it took Rachel a bit to warm up to me. Every morning I’d greet her.

“Good morning, my love. Only 2,103 more days!”

Then, finally, the day came! Seven long years had passed!

“Go in to my daughter,” Laban said.

I went in, but it was not Rachel, but her sister, Leah! Now, don’t get me wrong, Leah has nice eyes. But the rest of her, well, leaves a bit to be desired. I couldn’t believe I had been deceived.

“You have deceived me, and given me Leah!” I exclaimed in a rage to Laban.

“Well, you see, Jacob, it is not our custom to give away the younger before the older. Work for me seven more years, and I will give you Rachel.”

“Seven more years? But...”

“Take it or Leah,” he said.

*****

“Good morning my love! Only 2,553 more days, 20 hours, 37 minutes, and 21 seconds! Give or take a few seconds.”

“Oh, Jacob. I love you. I’ll bet it’s only 2,553 days, 20 hours, 36 minutes and 56 seconds now!”

“Oh brother!” Leah said.

“Technically, I’m your cousin,” I joked.

Finally, that day came. That glorious, wonderful day! After fourteen long years! I won’t go into details about that first night, but it’s safe to say I went in with reckless abandon. Please, do not make me explain farther. If I have to, you aren’t ready for the answer.

It took a few years, but Rachel and I finally had kids. I think God was chuckling just a bit at the sometimes not so friendly rivalry between Rachel and Leah. One thing that God taught me in all theses years is that time is relative. During those fourteen years, I thought I’d never get to have Rachel as my own. But now that I look back, I realize that fourteen years really isn’t that long to wait for your true love. Isn’t that right, honey?

“That’s right, Jacob. Only 5,113 days, give or take a few.”

******

Story taken from Gen. 27-29


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This article has been read 867 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Julie Arduini04/28/07
What a great take on romance! It had a great humorous touch but made me think too. That's quite a love to wait that long! Nice pace, flow, dialogue. Very well done!
Amy Michelle Wiley 04/30/07
Hehe, cute!
Rita Garcia04/30/07
Creative touch to a favorite story! Enjoyed reading this from the title to the end!
Joanne Sher 04/30/07
Lots of fun - I can tell you enjoyed writing this one. A neat take on a familiar story.
Jan Ackerson 04/30/07
Really cute title, and I liked the modernization of the language.

Some punctuation problems in a few places.

You made these people very down-to-earth and likeable...good job.