The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/29/07
This was very well written. I didn't enjoy reading about his crush on a married woman, because even though that is reality sometimes, it took away from his encounter with Madeline and the romance of it all. Even so, you made the story flow beautifully.
There's just something about a story that is merely a snippet in time - it just feels so much more like life. I was interested to see what would happen with the original crush, and I think you handled it fine, turning his affections to the real deal. This was nice, quiet, and real.
05/01/07
Well done! Nice build up to the conclusion. Blessings, Cheri
05/03/07
I enjoy stories of when attraction first begins. Great writing...vivid descriptions in your ending paragraph.