Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
323
  
Click Here For Detailed Site Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Write in the ROMANCE genre (04/19/07)

TITLE: Betrothal
By dub W
04/22/07


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

The horse trotted through the gate, saddled but riderless.

Suzanne looked up from pulling weeds and shouted. “Joshua!”

A suntanned youngster appeared around the corner. “Yes, ma’am?”

“Please tend Mr. Garth’s horse. I’ll be in the house.”

“Yes ma’am.” The shoeless young man grabbed the loose reins and led the horse toward the barn.

“Dear Lord, please let him be alright,” she prayed quietly then grabbed her skirts and sprinted into the house.

“Suzanne, honey, what’s the rush?” Hattie Dubois, the housekeeper and cook, stepped in Suzanne’s path.

“Something’s happened to Garth!”

The rotund woman folded her arms and laughed. “Oh, no, child. He just came in the back with your daddy. ‘Spect you’ll find them in the study.”

Suzanne ran down the hall to the study, paused to gather herself, before raising her hand to knock on the partially opened door.

“It’s settled then,” her father said. “I’m sorry for the circumstances though.”

“The only way to join the lands now sir.” Garth’s grim voice echoed in the room.

Suzanne pushed the door open wider and sailed into the office. “Garth Kenwick, that horse nearly scared me out of my wits.”

Both men jumped to their feet immediately. “Suzanne, come sit, Garth has brought some news.” Her father motioned her to the settee.

Garth took a seat next to Suzanne. “I don’t know how else to say this. We received word yesterday that there’s been an accident. We’ve lost Geoffrey. He died a month ago”

“Oh, no.” She whispered. Her hand reached out for his. “I’m so sorry. I know how close you were.”

“Ahem,” her father cleared his throat. “Garth has also come to let me know that in the matter of your betrothal, he will assume Geoffrey’s place.”

“What?” Suzanne jumped to her feet and turned on her father. “It wasn’t enough to trade me away the day of my birth? Now, Garth inherits me? I think not.” She stormed out.

“Thanks.” Garth glowered at the older man.

“You’ll fix it.” He shrugged sheepishly.

Suzanne struggled to quiet her rage, then slowly walked toward the kitchen. “Hattie, could I have some tea, please.”

“Sit down, I already have the water on. Oh, honey, you look like a squashed lemon..”

“What?”

“You’re all drawn up and sour look’n.” The older woman poured steaming tea into a cup and set it in front of Suzanne along with milk and sugar.

“Daddy has arranged for me to marry Garth.”

“That can’t be. You’ve been promised to Geoffrey your whole life, honey.”

“Oh, Hattie, poor Geoffrey was killed in some accident last month.”

“Poor, my foot. It wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t gone haring off to some heathen land.”

“Hattie, I know you didn’t care for Geoffrey, but this is a tragedy.” She scolded.

The older woman leaned across the table to whisper. “You didn’t like him either.”

“Was I so transparent?” Suzanne asked, stricken. “I didn’t really dislike him, I just didn’t want to marry him.”

“I heard your tearful prayers every night.” Hattie stood and refilled Suzanne’s cup. “And that boy, Garth? You’ve mooned around him since you were knee high.”

Suzanne nodded and sipped her tea reflectively. “But I just got out of one arranged marriage. I’ll not meekly walk into another. I don’t want him marrying me for my land.”

“Suzanne, we really need to talk.” Garth suddenly appeared in the doorway.

“I don’t think we have anything to discuss.” She replied crisply then rose and made her way out to the veranda.

Garth turned a bewildered look on the housekeeper.

“Give her some time to calm down, then tell her what’s really in your heart?”


Later, as the sun began its slow slide into the horizon, Garth found Suzanne on the veranda basking in the warmth of God’s Creation, He could almost feel the tension rising in her the minute she realized his presence.

“What are you still doing here?” Her voice was distant.

“Suzanne, we have to talk.”

“I see nothing to talk about. I was an unwilling participant in the betrothal to your brother. But I’m no longer a baby and I refuse to cowed into another.”

“Hear me out.” Garth pleaded. “I have loved you since the first time I saw your tiny face. You are my miracle. Do you think for a minute I won’t love and cherish God’s gift to me for the rest of my life? Marry me.”

“Yes.” She whispered as she flew into his arms.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 677 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Dolores Stohler04/26/07
Wonderful! I loved the "Gone With The Wind" style and the dialogue, too. You captured the old-fashioned essence of romance. Very well done.
James Wood04/26/07
Not a very stoic defense.

"I hate you!"

"Marry me."

"Ok!"

Very "Scarlet O'Harra", faded-southern belle approach. I liked it.
Marilyn Schnepp 04/28/07
The perfect romance. Very good indeed. With the exception of one little boo-boo...perfectly written also. Kept my interest throughout. Well done.
Verna Cole Mitchell 04/28/07
I thought this was an excellent romance, beginning to end!
Sheri Gordon04/28/07
Very nice romance -- I like Suzanne's spunk. This could be a good novella -- with her fighting the arrangement a little longer.

Nicely done.
Julie Arduini04/29/07
This had a Gone With the Wind feel to it and probably the word limit was why she flew in his arms so fast. Given her spunk, I thought she'd put up a bit more of a fight. I say that's the word limit and I don't care, it was very well written!
Rita Garcia04/30/07
"Gone with the Wind" style indeed! Love it!
Jan Ackerson 04/30/07
This is so evocative of the Civil War era that I actually found myself reading with a Southern accent. What fun!
Sara Harricharan 04/30/07
Love the dialouge and feel of this piece! I wish there'd been a bit more room to find out what happened next. Suzanne was a great character-though the ending was a little too cliche, but good. ^_^
Joanne Sher 04/30/07
Love the dialogue - and I agree, this reads like "Gone With The Wind" - and as good. Wonderful.
Stevie McHugh04/30/07
Excellent romance. Wow!
Jacquelyn Horne05/01/07
Good romance here. To me romance always needs a little controversy to help it along. Good job.
Cheri Hardaway 05/01/07
This was a great read. I loved this line: "Oh, honey, you look like a squashed lemon.." Loved it. Cheri
Venice Kichura05/04/07
I enjoyed this very much!
You have a special gift for dialogue and placing the reader right there in the scene. Masterfully written!


   
© MeasurelessMedia. All rights reservedTerms of Service