The Official Writing Challenge
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04/26/07
Very sad and dramatic. Also a realistic example of the problems encountered when 'saved' and 'unsaved' are married.
04/26/07
It is difficult when the marriage is not equally yoked. It makes for high highs and low lows. Well told, but some of your wording caused breaks in the flow of the story. For example:

"Just then, Evie was getting out of the cab and noticed a fine gentleman in a tuxedo about to be crushed by the oncoming van."

An important plot point like this should be two seperate sentances, since two important things are happening:

1) Evie out of the cab.

2) Oncoming van.

Good story, I enjoyed it.
A different perspective of loving a neighbor and loving God. I must admit both are equally hard to do when you get to caught up with the world.
04/27/07
I loved the sentences about peacetime and war that Evie wrote, and I REALLY loved the rich irony in "you did this for a stranger?"

The ending--it's a thought-provoker, that's for sure.

On the first read, I found the dialog perhaps a bit stilted or melodramatic, but on subsequent reads, I decided that it fit the tone of the piece, even contributed positively toward establishing that tone. Godd job!
04/29/07
This all was solid and well done but the ending is haunting, one of those you won't shake after moving on to another story, even if you want to. Excellent work!
04/30/07
As someone who is married to a non-Christian man, this piece was especially gripping. The more I think about it, the more genius I think the ending is. Very thought-provoking and well written. I'm going to read it again =)
This is good writing. I don't see the romance here, however. The story is very good, and truthful. Shattering in some ways, but very honest. Something that almost anyone will be able to identify with.
05/02/07
I struggled with the uneven yoking at first. But rarely will we find perfection in an imperfect world.

You brought your lesson home vividly, and the reader is left with an aching heart for both Evie and Joe.

I don't know if I would classify it a romance, but I most certainly classify it an awesome job of writing with an incredibly impacting message. Good job.

Cheri
05/02/07
Wow. This is heart-wrenching. Evie was so strong through the whole story, I had to root for her all the way! ^_^ You did a good job with a not-so-happy ending, it takes quite a bit to pull it off so smoothly.
I think there were a few spaces missing though when the van nearly ran Joe over. Otherwise, I liked this.
05/02/07
Touchy subject well handled in this story. Very shocking ending. I loved it!