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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Write in the HUMOR genre (04/12/07)

TITLE: Clown Aversion Therapy
By Kelly Klepfer
04/18/07


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This may make me unpopular with friends of clowns or clown wannabes. Maybe it will even garner me a flurry of negative attention, or a big whack in the backside with a size sixteen shoe.

But before you tie bind and gag me and shove me in the back of a Volkswagen Beetle with seventeen other clown haters, hear me out. Seriously, donít squirt me in the eye with your plastic trick flower, I need your attention. Stop honking your big, red nose. Focus. Iím serious. I have a problem with clowns. Call it an issue if you must.

My clown aversion is genetic. You know how those things are passed down through gene pools. My paternal grandmother and aunts hate clowns, too. But, to defend them, they did not influence me in any way.

The clown distaste came about naturally, randomly, at the circus. As an innocent five-year-old, I munched popcorn, not expecting what would happen next. Clowns suddenly filled one of the rings. Bright colors, bizarre hair, funny bicycles, it was a clown overload and I looked nervously around, trying to see if others were running, screaming toward the exits or seemed to be entertained.

Entertainment won outÖuntil the bang.

Not that it was the bang heard around the world Ė but it was certainly the bang that spilled my popcorn.

Iím justified. Clowns made me spill my popcorn.

I have had a few other encounters with clowns since then. Iím embarrassed to admit that I even played the part of a clown. Part of my job, I didnít have a choice, who wants a pink slip written in grease paint? And I actually bought a miniature clown tea set for my above mentioned aunts. In that situation clowns are funny.

Now that Iím out of therapy, I think I can co-exist with clowns, from the distance of a mile or two.

Donít even get me started on mimes.


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This article has been read 495 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Julie Arduini04/19/07
I am rolling here, and I am in total agreement. Before I reached the end I thought man, and the only thing worse than clowns are mimes...This was funny, well written and refreshing to read.
Joanney Uthe04/19/07
Too funny. I like clowns, but know several people who don't. This is well-written and fun to read.
Marty Wellington 04/24/07
This was quite an enjoyable & funny read. I know lots of people who don't like clowns . . . so I could relate to your humor. Well done!
Sharlyn Guthrie04/24/07
Great humor here!
Myrna Noyes04/25/07
Hee-hee! I really enjoyed reading this very amusing piece! Good job! :)