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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Write in the HUMOR genre (04/12/07)

TITLE: The Comedy of Deep Thinking
By TJ Nickel


Christian Humor through Satire and Poetry – (it’ll take a miracle to work)

How can I make you laugh today
Oh, what to do, what can I say?
Christian humor is tough, it’s so easy to miss
Especially satire - how about this…

A Methodist and Presbyterian arrive at heaven’s gate
The gate’s disappeared, a revolving door in its place
Jesus inside it, the two men relieved of their fate
The Methodist approaches with a smile on his face

He pushes the door with all of his might
The door won’t budge, looks to his companion in fright
“Guess free will doesn’t work, you must be right”
Then the door spins ‘round at the speed of light.

With a fierce, powerful thrust he sprawls towards Jesus
The Presbyterian smiles and says with a fuss
“Yes, I knew it, it’s Jesus alone that saves us”
Then he walks into the door and stands as a cuss

Puts his hands in his pockets, gives Jesus a stare
A wink of understanding, and a smile he wears
Waiting for Jesus to solve this affair
…That poor Presbyterian’s still standing there.

Did it work, did you laugh? Did my joke pull you in?
Or did you only smirk? Maybe you’re Presbyterian?
This Humor Challenge is a tough thing to win
Without taking some shots at Christian kin

What does it mean to be a Bride to Christ
And since He’s Triune, are we now married thrice?
Women can relish in this metaphor
But to men, it’s a mystery, or worse, a horror.
You see them there Sundays, all clamped up inside
As the worship song leads them to say they’re a bride
Mumbling the lyrics with faces downtrodden
Like men afraid of mountains who are also Coloradan
They get all confused, knowing not what to do
Other than pray for a sermon on 1 Timothy 2.

Red alert, red alert, I’ve broken the rules
Put too much thought in, and you lose all the jewels
Thinkers crush laughter they’re certain to say
I say the more thought the better, if done the right way
The rules of a genre are there to keep score
But I’m on a roll, ‘bout to break a few more

The Present turned Past as soon as it came
Please read along in this rhyme of a game
Read it real fast the first time through
Let the words make you chuckle, you can always review
If you get it you’ll see who the joke’s really on
Who’s the real King, and who is the pawn

The Present turned Past as soon as it came
The Future turned Present in a way just the same
Father Time is triune, yes, all three in one
Past, Present, and Future together they run
Every moment the Present, let’s call it I Am
Can never be caught, the whole thing’s a scam
The future replaces it soon as it’s here
The whole thing runs backwards if we think of it clear
Past, to Present, to Future is wrong
It’s been Present turns Future to Past all along
But if Present is turning it never arrives
Even though we live in it for all of our lives
They came right along and they sold us a story
Wrapped it all up in idolatrous glory
Telling us Christians we don’t understand time
Science laughing at us with a deafening chime
Father Time as they sold him is nonsense and wrong
It’s been them, not us, selling myths all along.

That’s all the rhymes from this seat in the pew
Thank you for reading, whether Gentile or Jew
If, by chance, my words caught you ail
Please forgive this Presbyterian male
Who in an attempt at satire got wild and bold
And does think the earth’s a few billion years old
You’ve been a great audience; simply the best
My work here is done, good night and God Bless

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This article has been read 904 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 04/19/07
Anyone who can think up a rhyme like downtrodden/Coloradan gets the APT award from me (that's the Ackerson Poetry Trophy). Outstanding!
Julie Arduini04/19/07
I agree, anyone who can say downtrodden and Coloradan is golden in my book. This was great, creative, funny and all in all, VERY well done!
Sara Harricharan 04/20/07
I usually don't read poetry-but this was GOOD! I liked the ryhme and flow, there were definitely some unmistakable chuckles woven into there. I especially liked the line with "Science laughing" You brought to life some strangely familiar pictures. I did notice the second line in the third paragraph seemed a bit awkward, but that could just be me on Friday. Nice title and good writing! ^_^
Verna Cole Mitchell 04/21/07
You did manage to combine them all very well together--Christian humor, satire, and poetry. You did settle the denominational debate nicely. Jesus is the only answer period.
Joanne Sher 04/23/07
Absolutely creative and fun. So much to think and chuckle about. Definitely a poem I'll want to come back to!
Rita Garcia04/23/07
Humor...over the top! Great writing!
Joanne Malley04/24/07
Unique and creative! You must have worked hard on this one - nicely done! Jo
Val Clark04/24/07
Very clever. And courageous. I particularly liked your play on Past Present and Future. yeggy
Helen Paynter04/24/07
Wow - I especially liked the past-present-future thing. Also the joke about the Methodist and the Presbyterian. Good stuff all round.
Sharlyn Guthrie04/24/07
I can't belileve you fit that all into a poem! Very clever!
Shari Armstrong 04/25/07
I'm dizzy lol - I will have to read this again and again lol :)
dub W04/25/07
Unique, I liked the technique and rhymed verses.
Betty Castleberry04/25/07
Whoa! This is cool. I'm not sure I got it all; I'll have to read it again. I thought it was very creative, though. The last line reminds me of one of the best clowns ever, Red Skelton. Very nicely done.
Donna Powers 04/25/07
this was very cute, and managed to squeeze quite a few smiles into its words. Thanks for sharing it.