The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1182 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
04/19/07
Your title grabbed my attention and your story kept me there. A delightful laugh for me. I could just picture the scene. Great description!
04/20/07
What a sweet story. I loved the line that Jim hugged her to his heart. What a precious tribute.
Cute story, made all the more special by the author's note at the end.
04/21/07
You got me smiling with this one. Men and their sports! Just a couple of things to watch out for, though. 1. Dialogue where it's clear the other person already has that information: 'little aluminum boat the kids gave us.' is something Jim would already know. 2. Tiny POV shift to Jim. I love this line: 'The only thing with any charge was the wind blustering around trying to scare up a storm.'
04/21/07
You got me smiling with this one. Men and their sports! Just a couple of things to watch out for, though. 1. Dialogue where it's clear the other person already has that information: 'little aluminum boat the kids gave us.' is something Jim would already know. 2. Tiny POV shift to Jim. I love this line: 'The only thing with any charge was the wind blustering around trying to scare up a storm.'
Excellent descriptive writing. I especially liked your simile for football players.
Fun story. Good memory piece. I floated along with you.
04/23/07
Great story, and lots of good giggles. Thanks for sharing about your MIL.
What a sweet, funny story topped off with your author's note which by the way brought a tear to my eye.

Trina<><
04/26/07
A sweet and funny piece, made even better by the author's note at the end. I love your descriptions. Nice work. Blessings, Cheri