The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
04/19/07
Good dialogue, funny story!
04/21/07
The one that got away! Scary thought!
On a technical note, there are (I think) 5 instances of the word 'fish' or 'fishing' in the first few paragraphs - three in the first one alone. See if you can shave some of them out to make the writing smoother.
A good laugh here!
There was enough foreshadowing here to let us know what was happening and to enjoy the unraveling, or is that unrolling! A well-told "fish" story!
04/22/07
Priceless! I could see it (though I probably shouldn't admit that!) Good job.
04/23/07
Great job of carrying us along, while not completely revealing until the end. There were a few places where I felt a tightening up of your prose might help, but I truly enjoyed this.
04/23/07
We're a big fishing family too -- but can't say this has ever happened, thankfully. I liked the suspense -- I was getting annoyed about the 'female anglers' right along with the wife. 'Hairy eyeball?' -- I've never heard that phrase, but I understood exactly what you meant.

I, too, noticed a lot of the "fish/fishy" words at the beginning. Not sure how to change that, but it seemed a little over-used.

Very visual descriptions -- I was right there with Jon, unfortunately. Nice job.
04/23/07
Fishing is my thing. Great entry. Other than a few speedbumps, a very enjoyable and entertaining read. God bless.
04/24/07
I like the multi-layers you created taking us to the ending!
04/24/07
I love the way the story unfolds in a casual understated way and the poor Jon's embarassment as he tells his toe tapping wife.
I think that's the best fish story I've ever heard. Great job. I could see the scene unfolding with your awesome word pictures.
04/29/07
Oh, Val! Where was my brick for this one?? I loved your fish story. Great description. I could imagine the scene perfectly. I hope the poor husband has better luck next time! :-)