The Official Writing Challenge
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04/20/07
What a well written story that is certainly humorous, but a strong message to bear as well. I won't forget this one soon, well done.
04/22/07
Good allegory. One little thing that caught my eye. "principle" should be "prinicpal", but that didn't detract from a job well done.
04/24/07
Excellent storytelling. Be careful, drawing pictures this clear might count for 1,000 words and cause a DQ next time! This is quality writing throughout, with the best part for me being the pinpoint accuracy of character names - something that is often overlooked.
04/24/07
You definitely have a way with words! A superb message, aptly interlaced with humor. Mastercrafted!
04/24/07
Man, I knew students like those in your first paragraph, and at the college level, too.

Interesting tale, almost a parable. I guess the thing I would like to have seen was for you to describe a little more completely the offensive smell. Was it like cow manure, or worse? Let us see what you see and smell what you smell when you write this.

You have a good storytelling style as was mentioned in another comment. I thought the name of your MC, Kindly Fool, was particularly appropriate. A pleasure reading your tale.
04/24/07
The saddest part of this "humor" piece is how excruciatingly right on target it is. The whole world is slogging through a stinking cesspool of sewage and not noticing its collective olfactory sense has gone with the wind! :0( Good writing and insightful teaching.
A different approach on humor. You found a way to tell a Bible truth without actually using scripture. I enjoyed this.
04/24/07
Great allegory, skillfully constructed and very Biblical. I guess I'd have liked a little more 'showing.' But I enjoyed this very much.
04/25/07
A well constructed fable. Very visual. Strong sense of place and chracter. Packed a punch. yeggy
04/25/07
Humorous and incredibly poignant. Masterfully written. It left me smiling in irony and sad for the state of affairs our world is in. I would have liked a bit more show and a little less tell, but this is a masterful piece nonetheless! Thanks, Cheri
04/26/07
Some powerful teaching wrapped in a wry grin. Good job.
Hmmm, this was very good.
I love reading allegories and the way they "settle" in the more I rethink them.
Kindly Fool and his desire for the ordinances will be remembered for being so much more than humor.
Glad to see you are in the Challenge.
04/26/07
James I give you kudos on a very well written piece - good work. The humor must be passing right by me (not the irony) for I find this depressingly true. To me this story is truth woven in satire.

Excellent job.
04/26/07
You have an interesting storytelling style. You draw from an unusual place that is quite unique - like an old-fashioned tale. Very nicely done. :) Blessings, Jo
04/27/07
A creative, well spun tale. Wonderful metaphor for life in present-day America. Great job.