Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Write in the HUMOR genre (04/12/07)
TITLE: Plastic Cat
By Virginia Gorg
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The Final Frontier.
These are the journals of the orange cat Pikachu.
His lifelong mission:
To explore strange new plastics.
To seek out new lickable plastics.
To boldly lick plastic that no cat has licked before.
Meow, yep, that’s me, Pikachu, an orange tiger cat, half Siamese. Since my childhood, I have had a fondness for licking plastic.
All types of plastic.
I spent the first months of my life with my mother and siblings in an animal haven full of birds, snakes, alligators, and ferrets. Although it was pleasant, something was missing, but I couldn’t figure it out.
Then my humans took me home.
It was a quiet house where I lived with two humans and two other cats. I was the youngest and I enjoyed the attention and love lavished upon me. But something was still missing. For several months, I roamed the house, looking for the elusive “it” that I was missing.
And then one day, I discovered it.
It was one of those quiet days in the ending stages of my kittenhood. I had used up most of my allotted eighteen hours of sleep, so I was meandering through the house. That’s when I saw it on the floor. I approached with caution. I touched it with my paw. It crinkled and made noise. I sat and watched it for a while, waiting for it to move. It didn’t. Then I tentatively licked the plastic bag and immediately found that void in my life. Yummy! Closing my eyes, I began to purr as I licked. The smoothness of plastic on my rough tongue calmed me. I felt all the tensions of being a spoiled cat drain away. The ruffling while I licked brought a soothing sound to my pointed ears. I purred with all my might.
Suddenly, the plastic was yanked away by the human. I awoke from my plastic stupor and blinked dazedly at her. She laughed at me, then threw the bag in the trash.
And so my quest for better plastic had begun.
Food storage bags.
Plastic bubble wrap.
So many choices.
I became obsessed.
Plastic consumed my every thought.
All bags are useful for licking, I soon discovered. Especially at three o’clock in the morning near the human’s beds.
I began licking every plastic bag I could find. Some were too thin, some were too thick. Some had no taste.
The grocery store bags are the most delicious. The blue ones are especially tasteful.
The humans try to outsmart me by putting bags away. Through the years, I have learned to find the plastic bags and have my fill anyway.
As I fall into yet another plastic-induced trance, I dream of a heaven full of plastic as far as my slanted eyes can see. Plastic grows on furniture and walls – it lays on the ground and along the paths. I lick blue plastic here and green plastic there. I am blissfully unaware of anything but plastic. I roll in it and lick ravenously at it.
My dream is interrupted by a noise I hear in the distance. Ah, it’s another plastic bag waiting for my sandpaper tongue. Fully awake from my dream, I head into the kitchen for a new plastic-licking adventure.
*** based on a true story ***
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