The Official Writing Challenge
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Wow, this was chilling. Reminds me of Peretti or Ted Dekker's work. Nice job.
I find this more in the horror category than in the mystery aisle. But it was horrific to say the least...and puzzling, which is what mysteries are, Right? But whatever it is - it has a moral, and leaves the reader pondering many thoughts. Very creative.
We give up tender friendships for all the wrong reasons only to find out what a gem we were holding. I'm just a little confused at the ending. But I think I've got it.
This is very suspenseful. A very good message.

I think this is more of the horror-type genre. It may not quite fit the mystery genre, but you kept me reading all the way through. I kept wondering when she was going to wake up from her dream. I also wondered what happened to Frankie, but with the word limit you couldn't get into detail.

The last two paragraphs are especially eerie. Now I'll be thinking of that last line "You didn't think it was going to be that easy, did you?" Haunting.
A very cool story, more spiritual warfare thriller, than mystery but VERY cool -I felt my stomach knotting up more than once (have had nightmares of falling backwards). VERY well done! This could be expanded into a longer piece very easily.
I came to thank you for your comment on my mystery entry by reading your story. This is very well written and demonstrates, I think, how we can drive ourself crazy dwelling on our sin and shortcomings rather than repenting and confessing them to the Healer of broken hearts.

The other commenters' mention of horror genre vs. mystery gets me to thinking. I guess I thought both were part of the same family, not stopping to think of the distinctions of each. Now, I shall have to do some research ^;^